The short answer is you shouldn’t be worrying about anything. You shouldn’t need to go out of your way to impress men. Rather they should be impressed with the person that you already are or they’re not worthy of you.
But that doesn’t mean that we’re not all guilty of doing some of these things sometimes, hoping it’ll accelerate the process.
Acting Less Smart Than You Really Are
Some women feel the need to dumb themselves down in order not to intimidate the men around them. There’s a notion that men love a clumsy damsel in distress. Be the strong, independent woman that you are, and they can take it or leave it! It’s not your job to feed their ego by making them feel needed.
Pretending You’d Rather Order Salad Than Pizza
I remember watching an Olsen twins movie when I was little where, in preparation for a date, one of the twins advises her sister to only order a salad because then she wouldn’t get bloated, stain her shirt, or get something stuck in her teeth.
Eat what you want—who cares?! There’s actually something attractive about a woman who isn’t afraid to look messy.
Agreeing With Him Just To Move On
Nobody likes to be wrong—man or woman—but you’ve earned your right to disagree and prove them wrong, and they need to grow up and take it rather than expect you to just brush it off and agree with them so they feel better.
Looking Like A Model
Men know that the standard is unattainable. As Reddit user Matthew0275 says: “We are inundated with ads filled with sexy girls. Real life, video games, cartoons, literally everything aimed at male audiences has some ‘golden ratio’ female character plastered all over it. The most attractive people I’ve ever met fell far outside of the ideal look crafted for us.”
Turning Into A Female Version Of Chef Ramsey In The Kitchen
You don’t have to know how to cook to be wife material. It doesn’t hurt to know how to make the basics for survival purposes, but it’s not up to you to make sure they’re fed. They’re just as capable of turning the stove on as you are.
Pretending To Be “Cool” With Everything
We know you want to be the “cool” girl so badly, but the cool girl just ends up letting him get away with everything and gets stepped all over. You have the right to set boundaries and to have feelings.
Having A Large Social Media Following
“If your life depends on receiving praise from strangers online and you can’t put your phone down, it’s annoying. Don’t pretend to be interesting online, it’s pointless in real life.” —[deleted] / Reddit
They want to date you, not your phone, or your followers.
Wearing High Heels
Sure, they make your butt look great and give you legs for days, but unless you’re going to a strictly sit-down-only event, it’s just really not worth not being able to walk the next day and the throbbing pain that comes along with every step you take 20 minutes in.
Acting Like One Of The Guys
You might think this makes you relatable and cool, but if he wanted to date “one of the guys,” he surely would have by now. Clearly, he’s looking for something more that only your womanhood can bring. Embrace it and show it off!
Playing Hard To Get
“Hard to get makes them hard to want” —ChickenNoodleSloop / Reddit.
Mr. NoodleSloup is right. The chase just gets tiring and confusing. It stops being exciting real fast, and instead, people move on to the next person assuming that you’re not interested.
Turning Into A Relationship Chameleon
Naturally, when you date someone for a while, you subconsciously pick up some of their habits and routines, and you might even start to dress similarly.
It’s okay for it to happen accidentally, but you should never feel the need to align your style, interests, hobbies, lifestyle, and personality to match theirs.
Having Your Skin Tanned Like You Just Spent A Week In Mexico
“Fake tans and tan lines can be weird in my personal preference. Just be you.” —Madlibsluver / Reddit.
Although, if you love tanning, then go for it, just make sure you’re doing it for you and not because Jersey Shore set some unrealistic tanning expectations.
Pretending To Know Anything About Sports
If your love for football is genuine, then more power to you, but the rest of us just attend the playoff screening for the snacks. There’s no harm in having him encourage you to throw a ball around every once in a while and teaching you the basics of the game, but you don’t have to become a fan to impress him.
Spending Half A Paycheck On Lingerie
You should feel no pressure to have to dress a certain way to appear more appealing. If you want to surprise him every once in a while, go for it, but don’t spend hundreds on a bra you’ll only wear once. He should think you’re just as sexy when you’re wearing sweatpants and have your hair in a bun.
Feeling A Need To Prove Yourself
“I’ve dated a lot of girls who constantly felt a need to prove to me that they were enough. Smart enough, attractive enough, whatever. It’s like, dude, I asked you out. Obviously, I already think you’re enough. If I didn’t, I would have dipped by now.” —ShlomoKenyatta / Reddit.
Do you know what you need to prove to yourself? That you don’t need a man to validate you.
Doing 100 Crunches A Day To Appear Toned
How come we allowed men to make “dad bods” cool, but no one made beer bellies cool for women? We like beers and pizza just as much as the men, we shouldn’t have to restrict ourselves because they can laugh it off as having a body like Seth Rogan’s.
Being Down For Bedroom Fun Whenever
You should only agree to be intimate with a man because you truly feel ready, comfortable, and excited.
Don’t do it just to appease them or because you feel pressured. If you go into it hoping that it won’t last long and you can just get back to what you were doing, it’ll ruin intimacy for you altogether.
Being The Woman Who Can Do It All
You’re human. You don’t need to need to prove you’re a super-woman every day. Life gets in the way, and it’s okay to have days where you skip your workout, turn your phone off, order junk food, and take a break from all responsibilities.
A man who deserves you will give you the time and space to recharge and take some weight off of you.
Getting Along With Their Friends Or Family
You’re dating them, not their friends and family. Everyone loves to have an opinion, so don’t worry too much if his mom didn’t like you because you didn’t know she needed help with the dishes after dinner.
You only have to see her on holidays, it’s him you’re stuck with every day.
Cleaning Up After Them
Some men are just looking for a nanny/second mother/maid all in one. If they can’t be bothered to do their own laundry, then you shouldn’t bother to give them your time.
There’s no harm in helping each other out with chores every once in a while as long as they put in their equal share, though.