Close your eyes and think of everything you know about flirting. Now take it all and toss it out the window. Somewhere between cheesy pickup lines and oversized bouquets we’ve resorted to stereotypical and old-fashioned dating techniques that lost their impact.
There is no longer one technique that fits all. Now smooth flirting is more about listening and tailoring, just like these men successfully did.
Listening To Her Needs
“I told him I was too busy to date. He offered to hang out with me while I plowed through a ton of errands. I was so busy that day I forgot to eat lunch and he got me a donut and coffee. I married him.” – 111tacocat111
Do you know what’s attractive? When a woman expresses what she needs and actually receives them.
Speak Her Love Language
“When I was 10 I received a love letter from a boy. It contained a flower inside, and at the bottom of the letter, he wrote some cheat codes for Mortal Kombat for me. He knew I was always playing that game on my Sega.” – soybutteraddict
If a ten-year-old can figure out that gifts are more meaningful when they’re personalized to show you care, then you can too.
Speak With More Than Words
“My mom and dad were set up by a friend of theirs. My mom is completely deaf, upon being told this before he met her my dad went out and learned as much sign language as he could… except my mom didn’t know sign language… ” – hecata678
It’s the thought that counts, we just want to see that you’re willing to put in the effort.
Leave The Pickup Lines At The Door
“A guy told me that he liked my shoes and asked where I’d gotten them. We were in a bowling alley.” – demsdabreakskid
Although pickup lines are just a way of breaking the ice to talk to a stranger, they often come off as offensive or annoying. Simple questions like this one will do the trick.
Break The Touch Barrier Comfortably
“He said ‘I have a riddle for you,’ then he took my hand and traced a line down the middle of my palm. ‘This is a river. It is too wide to jump over, too deep to wade across, too fast to swim across, and too long to go around. There is a bunny stuck on one side of it. How does the bunny cross the river?’
After about 10 minutes of me trying to guess the answer, I gave up and asked him how the bunny got across the river. He said ‘who cares? I just wanted to hold your hand!'” – KitKatPattywhaks
Show Off Your Skills
“I had a boyfriend who was really into working out and martial arts. I asked him to show me a move and he swept my feet out from under me, then caught me and kissed me. Hottest thing ever.” – sleepyhollow_101
That doesn’t mean you should go around tossing women in the air. The lesson here is to impress her with what you’re good at.
Make Her Feel Taken Care Of
“He worked at the hospital and I was a frequent patient. He “snuck” me extra warm blankets and would sit with me before/after his shift. He knew I wasn’t interested in dating while going through everything and so he was just THERE. Turns out I happened to like him THERE and we are celebrating our 12th anniversary this year.” – GypseboQ
When she’s ready to let you in, she’ll appreciate the way you took care of her without an agenda.
Find Common Ground With Her
“He read my favorite book just so we’d have something in common to talk about.” – sophzv
What many men don’t realize is that simple is better. We’re not asking for grand gestures and giant bouquets. We’re more interested in what you notice in us, and what you choose to do with that information.
Make Her Laugh With Unique Jokes
“He sent me a picture of two frogs sitting on a leaf and said ‘us'” – sydney_prescott
Building your own inside jokes will create a unique bond between you. She will then have you closely associated with the word or image, which will make her smile and think of you every time she sees it.
Pay Attention To The Details
“We were watching a movie together and this couple had an epic kiss in the rain, and I offhandedly mentioned I thought it was so romantic.”
“One day, we were walking home from a party, it started raining and he just kinda grabbed me and kissed me, and mentioned he thought about what I said any time it rained.” – cleanandcozy
Don’t Make It All About You
“Made eye contact, asked interesting questions, listened to my answers, and responded. He didn’t make the conversation about him.” – zazzlekdazzle
Let’s emphasize how important it is that flirting is based on conversation. This means you have to give room for equal give and take. You can’t listen to her if you’re too busy bragging.
Cheer Her Up On Her Bad Days
“He brought me a huge tub of my favorite ice cream flavor after hearing that I was having a bad day.” – superstitchion
Women often don’t need you to fix all their problems, but they appreciate your support. Showing them that you want to cheer them up with simple acts will earn you lots of brownie points.
Take An Interest In Her Passions
“I like sunsets – they’re kind of my thing. I photograph them, have sold calendars about them. Anyway… I was participating in a medical study, and we were bound to our room for 14 days. He would send me pictures of the sunset each night because he didn’t want me to miss any.” – ceerz
It doesn’t matter if he has zero interest in them, it’s the fact that he’s doing it for her that matters.
Give Her Geneuine Compliments
“My boyfriend was too shy to flirt with me at first since we were only friends. So, he texted me saying I looked really nice that day after seeing me, and it was such a simple thing but it really made my day better. ” – DontBlameMeItWasYou
Flirting doesn’t have to be a big scheme or have compliments be over the top. They simply have to be genuine.
Be Honest About Your Intentions
“I once had a guy walk up to me at a bar and said, ‘Hello, my name is Rob and I’ll be hitting on you tonight; what can I get you to drink’. Silly, playful, and direct. We dated for about eight months.” – aes7288
You don’t need to tell a woman what she wants to hear. Rather, tell her how you truly feel and let her decide for herself.
It’s Okay To Be Corny
“Was riding home with friends. I mentioned that the stars were so much more visible up there in the mountains and he said, ‘yeah, they’re really pretty. I wish I had someone to watch them with.'” – DeathChicken54
We’re not saying being corny is outdated, just make sure you read your audience!