If you knew that you were being invited to a wedding as part of the second string of wedding guests, the people who were only invited once others had said no, would you still want to go?
When planning a wedding, couples have to make decisions about which guests matter the most to them or who they must have, especially with a pandemic happening. The question is, is it bad etiquette to tell the guests that they’re being ranked by importance?
The Reality Of A Pandemic Wedding
Thanks to the pandemic, many happy couples who were planning on getting married during 2020 have been forced to cancel, delay, or alter their original wedding plans. This has led to the need for some tough decisions.
Time To Decide Who Your Real Friends Are
Receiving an “important notice” along with a wedding invitation sets a bit of an ominous tone for whoever is opening the envelope, but in these unexpected times, there could be things the guests would need to know, right?
Did You Make The Cut?
Yikes on bikes. So the important notice was to let you know that you may or may not be a part of the top tier of guests invited to the wedding.
No Kids Allowed
This request is the least concerning thing about this wedding invitation. Plenty of couples choose to have a child-free wedding, though there is still a debate about whether or not couples should be entitled to say no children at their wedding.
The Child-Free Wedding Debate
Quite frankly, this doesn’t seem like the right solution. If someone is getting married, they should be allowed to say they don’t want children at their wedding, but that’s not a reason to not invite any of the parents in your life. As long as the couple doesn’t get upset if someone declines because they can’t/don’t want to find childcare, it’s all good.
Thanks, But No Thanks
The reaction to the invitation was a mixed bag. Some said that if they were in group B or C it’d be an automatic “no” from them, whereas others felt like we’re living in an “anything goes” world thanks to the pandemic.
Does Group C Even Exist?
Some people on Twitter were speculating about whether or not the low-level group C even existed, because it doesn’t seem to be different from Group B. One theory is that group C is fake but they wrote it so anyone in group B wouldn’t feel as bad.
Is It Fair To Be Offended?
While many users were up in arms, other people felt that it was perfectly reasonable to categorize guests like this due to the general state of the world and the number of limitations the couple could be working around.
Mystery Is The Missing Element
Anyone who has planned a wedding has gone through the pain of narrowing down the guest list and deciding which guests are the most important. Your close family members are obviously more important than your husband’s friend from college who you only see once a year, but you’re not supposed to let everyone know that.
In Conclusion: It’s Inconclusive
Unsurprisingly, the internet couldn’t reach a conclusion about whether or not it was in poor taste for this couple to blatantly state that not every person would be able to attend their wedding during a pandemic.
Something We Can All Agree On
While grouping wedding guests into three different tiers left Twitter feeling divided, there doesn’t seem to be any question about who’s in the wrong when it comes to this debate between a bride and her bridesmaid.
A Nice, Casual Summer Wedding
Most women would consider it a big honor if their friend asked them to be a bridesmaid in their wedding, and they understand that there are certain costs that are going to come with this commitment. Your goal is to make sure things run as smoothly as possible for the bride, but that wasn’t the case here.
One (Shoeless) Step At A Time
I understand if one or two pairs were particularly uncomfortable, or someone wasn’t comfortable walking in too-high heels, but 15 pairs of shoes? That’s a lot of choices to go through.
Leave It Up To The Bridesmaids
Having each bridesmaid buy their own seems like the easiest solution for everyone, and you guarantee that everyone will be comfortable—or at least if they have blisters, they’ll have no one to blame but themselves.
There’s Always A Troublemaker
Requesting that the bride pay more than $150 for a pair of shoes that you might only wear one time, when every other bridesmaid is paying for their own, is ridiculous.
Okay, So You Get Nothing
So she issues an ultimatum, adding more stress to the bride’s life completely unnecessarily. The bridesmaids’ dresses cost the same price as the shoes this one bridesmaid wants, shouldn’t that be making the bridesmaid rethink her shoe choice?
Something Doesn’t Add Up
Well, actually, a lot of things are adding up, but the shoes are not going to be part of that total. If the bridesmaid can’t afford the shoes, what makes her think that a bride who is already paying for a wedding could afford them?
It’s Normal For Bridesmaids To Pay
For anyone who hasn’t been part of a bridal party before, it’s quite common for a bridesmaid to be expected to pay for things like their shoes or their dress. This bride actually seems to be paying for more than many other brides typically would.
Show Her Who’s Boss
Yes, being a bridesmaid can be a lot of work, and in a way, you’re doing your friend a favor by being in their wedding party, but it’s also a privilege. The bridesmaids are not the ones running the show. If you don’t like the shoes, you can wear your own, and be seated like everyone else.
The People Have Spoken
The bridesmaid is clearly the one that is in the wrong here, choosing something that is much more expensive than it needs to be. Why make this experience more stressful for everyone involved? Either bow out as a bridesmaid and attend as a regular guest, or take a trip to Target to find some cheaper shoes.