I feel like it’s something almost every pair of female besties has said at least once, even if they were joking: wouldn’t it be nice if we just married each other instead of dealing with all the guy drama?
Well, some women are actually going through with it, and I think they might be winning at life.
One Viral TikTok On The Subject Got Me Thinking
As explained in the video, this woman and her best friend decided that, instead of marrying romantic interests, they would marry each other.
I mean, logistically, they seem to have really thought it out. They couldn’t imagine living their lives without each other after being so close over the past eight years, so they decided to commit to living together.
At First, I Was A Bit Skeptical
I mean, it’s pretty much ingrained in our minds from the time we’re children that marriage is about falling in love with your “soul mate” and starting a life together.
However, the more I thought about it, the clearer the benefits of marrying a friend became. I mean, you’re less likely to experience “marital problems” that can drive couples apart—jealousy, cheating, et cetera—or have your romantic feelings cloud your judgment in major life decisions.
Logistically, It Checks Out
The idea isn’t so far-fetched: you marry someone who you have a solid relationship with that’s based on trust, shared interests, and similar values. Logistically, if you decide to co-parent with them, there is a high likelihood that you’d have a similar approach. A messy divorce is much less likely.
You’re basically committing to having a roommate who you can share assets with.
You Can Still Pursue Romantic Interests
Dating isn’t off the table: you can still date people outside of the marriage. Especially for people who aren’t super interested in monogamy, marrying a friend could provide a healthy way to date around while still having a close, constant relationship in their life.
Honestly, as someone who currently lives with a close friend as a roommate, I really do like to come home from dates and get to unpack with her.
Marrying/Cohabitating With A Close Female Friend Isn’t A New Practice
In the nineteenth century, some women—often ones with a high level of education—would forgo marriage and instead choose to live with another woman. It was an especially popular choice in New England so they even came up with a term for it: a Boston marriage.
Of course, some of the women who chose to do this were lesbians who wanted to live with their partner under the guise of friendship, but others were actually just close friends who wanted to spend their lives together.
The Nuclear Family Is The Norm—But It Doesn’t Have To Be
When we think of families, we tend to imagine them as a mom, dad, and kids. However, as time goes by, more people are taking on new ideas about what it means to be a family unit.
Increased rights for the LGBTQ+ community with same-sex parents, and more polyamorous relationships (containing three or more individuals) are becoming common ways to create families.
Naturally, There Is Some Stigma Still
As with anything new or unconventional, there tends to be a lot of people who do not understand how people can get platonically married, and people who might look down upon the idea as a whole.
As frustrating and nerve-racking as it can become to talk about with others, these married friends on TikTok are genuinely happy in their lives, and that’s what really matters.
I Guess It’s A Good Option To Consider
Maybe marrying a best friend is not for everyone, and but I think it does raise some good questions about how we view love. Why is it that we value romantic love more than other types, when friendships are often stronger, more stable relationships for individuals?
All in all, if it’s a lifestyle that might work for you, I definitely think it’s worth considering.