People Debate Whether This Guy Was In The Wrong For Bailing Last Minute On A Date

These days it feels like there are 101 different ways to break things off if a relationship isn’t working out.

Dating terms like ghosting, soft ghosting, and “zombie-ing” are all ways to shut things down, and they’re usually done over text to avoid any awkward confrontations.

Breaking Things Off Always Risks Hurting Someone’s Feelings

Girl sits in dark room looking at phone
Photo Credit: mikoto.raw Photographer / Pexels
Photo Credit: mikoto.raw Photographer / Pexels

Even if you go out of your way to make sure you let someone down easy, it’s possible that the person you’re breaking it off with doesn’t take things well.

That seems to be what happened to one anonymous Redditor who shared a screenshot of a text conversation he had with a potential date.

They Met On Bumble And Set Up A Date

Bumble app open on cellphone
Photo Credit: Gabby Jones/Bloomberg via Getty Images
Photo Credit: Gabby Jones/Bloomberg via Getty Images

The original poster (OP) offers some backstory by saying that the message exchange comes from a “girl from a couple of months ago” who he had met on Bumble.

He continues to explain that they only traded about 10 text messages before setting up a date.

OP Decided On The Morning Of The Date That He Wanted To Cancel

Man looks down at phone sending text
Photo Credit: Jonas Leupe / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Jonas Leupe / Unsplash

The two had planned an evening date for later in the week and didn’t communicate much other than that.

When the day of the date finally arrived, OP admitted he “wasn’t feeling it” and tried to cancel the date in a way he thought was as nice as possible.

At 8 A.M. He Texted Her To Cancel The Date

iMessage conversation
Photo Credit: LoTeezah / Reddit
Photo Credit: LoTeezah / Reddit

At about 8 a.m., he sent her a text explaining that he didn’t mean to get back to her so late but “I don’t think I’m quite ready to try something again.”

The text continued, “Please don’t take it personally, from what I can tell you seem like a fantastic girl.”

Her Response Was Rude And Dismissive

iMessage conversation
Photo Credit: LoTeezah / Reddit
Photo Credit: LoTeezah / Reddit

She was immediately defensive and said, “Lol I don’t want to meet you hahaha. You are not cute and not a good guy.”

It’s clear she did not take being rejected very well, but some Redditors who responded to the post understood her perspective.

People Shouldn’t Be On Dating Apps If They Have No Intention Of Going On Dates

Reddit comments thread
Photo Credit: LoTeezah / Reddit
Photo Credit: LoTeezah / Reddit

He said that he wanted to really consider things before canceling the date though ultimately decided he wasn’t ready.

Unfortunately, the woman’s response was not at all what he was expecting, but some Redditors sympathized with her.

Letting Someone Know You’re Not Interested Is Always A Better Option Than Ghosting

Reddit comments section thread
Photo Credit: LoTeezah / Reddit
Photo Credit: LoTeezah / Reddit

It’s true that everyone handles rejection differently, but the woman who insulted OP definitely did not need to be as harsh as she was.

People mostly agreed that OP at least gets credit for letting the woman know his reasoning instead of just ghosting her completely.

Text Communication Can Be Misinterpreted

Person sitting outside looking at phone
Photo Credit: Chad Madden / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Chad Madden / Unsplash

Communicating with a date via text before meeting them in person can influence your first impressions in a negative way.

That being said, it seems like these two were not going to be a good match anyway, so it’s probably for the best that their plans didn’t work out.

The “Nice Guy” Meets “Nice Girl” Behavior

Man with hand over face
Photo Credit: Adrian Swancar / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Adrian Swancar / Unsplash

The text interaction is also an example of the “nice girl” and “nice guy” energies clashing with one another.

It seems like both OP and the date he bailed on tried to come off as the “nice” guy/girl until it came time for the actual date.

Neither Person Handled The Situation Very Well

Tinder app open on person's phone
Photo Credit: Mika Baumeister / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Mika Baumeister / Unsplash

The “nice guy” revealed he wasn’t actually that nice by canceling the date with a lame, recycled excuse.

But the “nice girl” took it to another level when she insulted his looks and his personality. She definitely showed her true colors and hopefully he paid attention.