Although not acknowledged as often, men experience just as wide an array of feelings as women; however, they are often taught from a young age that they should “man up” and get over it. In more recent times, women have been trying to encourage men to open up to them rather than take their feelings out on them.
So, these men tried to open up, but when they did, they were quickly shut down.
Never Should Have Asked
“Two female friends noticed I was having a bad week and insisted I tell them what was going on. After 15 minutes of me ranting about my grades, professors, my job, my family, I was starting to feel better getting it all off my chest.
“But then one of them, making no attempt to hide it, leans to the other and says, ‘Damn, I wish we never asked,’ and they both start laughing with each other about how much they didn’t want to be there listening to me. Now whenever people ask how I’m doing, I just say I’m fine or I’m tired to save the time and energy.” —stressedRAPHAEL / Reddit
That’s A Lot Of Pressure
This story seems unfair: “In my family, I, as the father, am the rock and immovable point that everything hinges on. I once started to open up to my wife about what worries me and she almost had a nervous breakdown and I ended up consoling her for an hour.
“I stopped opening up about my worries toward her after that.” —Horst665 / Reddit
Learned The Hard Way
“I went to therapy and my therapist advised me to let down my guard to my girlfriend. She lost all attraction to me, shared my issues with her whole friend group for ‘their support,’ and then broke up with me. Life will teach you lessons the hard way whenever possible.” —BreakerMark78 / Reddit
It sounds like she just wasn’t the right match for him. Men also need to release their feelings. Otherwise, they bottle them up and they come out in unhealthy ways.
It’s A Scary Thing
“My ex never reacted well to me opening up to her. I think it scared her or something. It can really freak people out, especially when they have this idea of who their partner should be, or how they want their life to be.” —SirZachofThames / Reddit
Maybe if men were vulnerable from the start, then it wouldn’t come as a shock later in the relationship.
An Empty Promise
“Met a girl who told me I could tell her anything and she was always there if I needed to talk. One night it got to me and I opened up to her and you could just see all the attraction leave her face. She ended up distancing herself from me afterward and we lost contact.” —Reddit
We can’t ask for honesty and loyalty from men when we’re not ready to receive their most authentic selves.
Space Is Necessary
“For me, it was when I needed her to be the strong one. Got super stressed out from my first deployment, expressed that I needed a day or two of my own time to chill out.
“Turns out, she lost interest in me pretty much immediately and then left me two days later once I felt okay again because I wasn’t good enough. I’m a grown man and sometimes if I’m really stressed I need space away.” —No-Pilot-2870 / Reddit
Double Standards Aren’t Fair
“She told me I should open up more, and to share more with her. She promptly decided to drop all her problems on me, while also telling me to [sod] off when I had my own problems because ‘you should go deal with your problems yourself, I’m not your therapist’. She then used my issues to try and gaslight me into thinking I was insane.” —T_JUS665 / Reddit
It sounds like she was just toxic.
Thinking Like A Girl
“Once, I told my friends about my high insecurities regarding my physical appearance and my ‘attractiveness’ (or lack of thereof in my case), and they laughed at me and made jokes about it not being a ‘big deal’ and implying that I was acting/thinking like a girl.” —AgentJhon / Reddit
Feelings shouldn’t be associated with women only. Men are also entitled to feel insecure and to be heard.
It’s Not A Competition
“My ex even got mad at me after I opened up. Not in the moment. It was about three weeks later. She said, ‘I feel like I can’t even open up to you anymore.’
“When I asked why, she said, ‘When I think about what you’ve been through, I feel like I can’t complain about my situation.’ She was upset at me for this and wanted me to apologize.” —Praws12 / Reddit
Perfectly Normal Feelings
“Opened up about how I felt about being dumped to a close friend that I was there for when they were in the same situation. My feelings and emotions were dismissed. The conversation left me feeling like an idiot for having these perfectly normal post-breakup feelings.” —Gre3nBe3p / Reddit
There’s a myth that women feel the breakup pain right away but men don’t until much later. That’s not true. Losing love hurts on both ends.
It Takes Growth
“I was going through a rough patch and had slight depression. I told my ex-girlfriend that I was looking to improve our relationship and understanding. She decided to break up with me.” —LordDeathScum / Reddit
While it’s not up to the woman to fix or wait for her man to be better, they shouldn’t fear that the minute they decide to work on themselves, they’ll be seen as disposable.
Stealing The Spotlight
“That was my experience with my first girlfriend. She was really pushy about knowing my deepest, most irrational feelings, but got insecure, defensive, and hurt over them when I shared instead of being remotely supportive.” —Poschta / Reddit
We’re not sure how his feelings could possibly hurt her when he’s the one feeling them.
It All Came Down To One Word
“Divorce.” —fourpanelwindows / Reddit. There was no other context given here, but based on the past stories, we could probably take a good guess.
It seems like some of these women don’t know how to handle the shift when it’s their turn to be their partner’s rock.
Quite The Extreme Reaction
“My wife started sleeping with someone else. Lesson learned.” —RAHL3 / Reddit
We hope this doesn’t discourage him from trying again. It sounds like she was just looking for an excuse.
It’s Not Always That Bad, There’s Hope
Not all men had such terrible experiences. “You guys must have pretty terrible girlfriends. My wife and I share most things we feel vulnerable about.
“I am not going out of my way to be emotional, but I’m not hiding it behind some shield either. If you show your true colors to a partner and she breaks up with you, it wasn’t meant to last anyway.” —KtG_80 / Reddit
We Think Vulnerability Is Attractive
Men, don’t lose hope. Some of us women find it even more attractive when we get to experience your sweet and sensitive side. It makes us trust you more.
Plus, we want you to release and vent so that we don’t fight later when all your feelings come up in toxic ways.