If you've ever been cheated on before, you probably recognize the impulse to confront your cheating significant other.
But, a recent TikTok is shedding insight into why your decision to confront them might actually end up backfiring on you, and the video has gone viral.
Confronting A Cheater
You snooped through your partner's phone one night and saw messages from another woman or saw him in public one day kissing someone and are horrified to learn that he's cheating on you.
Seeing red, you want to confront him with the evidence and demand an explanation. But is it the right thing to do?
This is Malcolm "MJ" Harris, also known as @mjharrisspeaks on TikTok. On the video-sharing platform, Malcolm writes that he helps people "live your best life and make money…and I make you laugh."
But in one of his recent videos, he also shared a piece of relationship advice which has since gone viral with over 4 million views.
In the TikTok, which he appears in with his friend and fellow TikTok user @nialonette, Malcolm states that his relationship advice for how to handle cheating partners might be an "unpopular opinion."
"If you have a mate that you know is cheating on you, don't confront them about it," he begins.
A Blueprint To Cheating
Malcolm then goes into further detail regarding his unpopular opinion.
He explains that when a person confronts their partner regarding potential/obvious signs of cheating (such as telling them you found incriminating evidence in their phone or asking why they took so long to get home), all a person is doing is "teaching them how to cheat better."
Unintentional Cheating Coaches
A cheating partner might concede and promise to never cheat again. So, if their partner ultimately chooses to stay with them, Malcolm says that often the cheating won't stop because their faithful partner has been "coaching" them to become better and sneakier cheaters.
Essentially, each time you confront a partner and reveal how you caught them cheating, you're telling them what not to do next time.
Here's What To Do Instead
Instead of unintentionally giving a cheating partner more information on how not to get caught in the future, Malcolm says there's only one simple thing people only need to do instead.
"The only announcement you need to make is 'I'm out.'"
Say Goodbye And Leave
Malcolm adds that people need to do what's best for themselves and take all the time they need to get their things in order and leave. He says that waiting around for the right time to leave despite knowing a partner is cheating will hurt, but it's better than the alternative.
"What's going to hurt more is you telling this person how to cheat better."
Better To Leave Now Than Be Hurt Later
Malcolm says once a person knows the truth about their cheating significant other, there's no point in staying because the "inevitable" will eventually happen—the cheating partner leaves them instead.
"They know that you know and don't respect you anymore because they know that you tolerated what they were doing all along," Malcolm says. "Just wait, get your stuff together, then leave."