Sex Journals And The Reasons To Write Our Dirtiest Details Down

Journaling may not be a new concept to you, it’s possible that you penned the pages of your first journal during your early elementary school years.

Many people carried on their journaling habit long into adulthood, even though the content of the journals has changed.

Journaling Is A Great Therapeutic Practice For Many Different Things

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Photo Credit: George Milton / Pexels

It’s not uncommon for people to use journals to keep track of everything from dreams, to career goals, to travel and fitness.

Journaling for any reason can be a great exercise in mental health. One lesser-known journaling topic is people’s sex lives.

Sex Journals Will Look Different Depending On Who Writes It

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Photo Credit: Pixabay / Pexels

So what exactly is a sex journal? Well, it can look different for different people. It can include names of former partners, or just brief notes about various sexual experiences.

Some people use it as a place to write out their fantasies or desires.

People In Long-Term Relationships Can Also Benefit From Keeping A Sex Journal

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Photo Credit: Pixabay / Pexels

There are quite a few reasons why someone may consider keeping a sex journal.

Even if you are in a long-term relationship, detailing some of your intimate encounters in a journal can help you get in tune with your wants and needs.

It Can Help You Process Your Experiences

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Photo Credit: Polina Kovaleva / Pexels

Journaling has long been used as a therapy technique to help people work through their feelings and thoughts.

Writing down your experiences gives you the time necessary to interpret and understand them.

You Don’t Have To Have An Overly Active Sex Life To Keep A Sex Journal

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Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels

Even if you are not in a sexual relationship of any kind right now, that doesn’t mean you can’t benefit from keeping an intimacy journal.

Writing about past experiences, fantasies, future desires, and even masturbation can help you learn more about your body’s wants and needs.

It’s A Good Way To Learn More About Your Sex Drive

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Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels

Taking the time to write a few sentences about your sexual experiences will help you explore the reasons why you have sex, and how often.

Some people feel like they need to have sex to be a good partner, and it becomes a sort of chore. Adding a regular journaling practice may help a person become more aware of their motivations behind having sex.

The Journal Can Help You Uncover Patterns In Your Love Life

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Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels

Keeping track of your sex life can also help you uncover patterns that could be influencing your attitudes toward sex.

For example, a woman may find her sex drive highest before she starts her period, or she may find sex painful at that time and avoid it altogether.

It Helps You See Things With A Clear Mindset

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Photo Credit: Alina Vilchenko / Pexels

It’s hard to recognize any sort of defining moment when you’re actually having sex, which is why journaling can bring things to the surface you may not have considered.

Maybe you find that you much prefer recalling and writing about slow and sensual sex instead of rough and aggressive sex. You are able to see things more clearly when you’re away from the heat of the moment.

You Will Be Better Able To Communicate Your Wants And Needs With A Future Partner

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Photo Credit: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels

Let’s face it, talking about sex with a partner (especially a new one) can be kind of awkward.

People are often shy about breaching important subjects like using protection, personal boundaries, and even fetishes and turnoffs. Journaling out your thoughts before bringing them up in the bedroom can help you express yourself clearly.

You Can Buy One Or Create Your Own

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Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels

Surprisingly, there are structured sex journals that you can buy online that are filled with prompts and suggestions for filling the book.

Or, if you want to make your journal a little bit more personalized (and private), you can start writing your own

There Are A Few Different Ways You Can Use Your Journal

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Photo Credit: Mathilde Langevin / Pexels
Photo Credit: Mathilde Langevin / Pexels

Firstly, try writing some self-reflection questions like what was the best part about the last time you had sex? How close have you come to the edge of your comfort zone in the bedroom?

You can also ask yourself questions about how certain parts of your body feel during sex or what you usually think about. There are no rules to the questions!

Write About Any Sexual Dreams Or Fantasies

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Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels

Your sex journal doesn’t have to be a strict history of times you’ve had sex. You could write about times you felt unusually turned on, or times you had sexual experiences in a dream or a fantasy.

While it can be helpful to understand some of your fantasies, they are not always going to be something you experience in real life, which is where the journal can help.

Try Journaling With Your Partner

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Photo Credit: Los Muertos Crew / Pexels
Photo Credit: Los Muertos Crew / Pexels

A joint sex journal may not be for everyone, but some couples have found that their relationship strengthened after introducing one.

You can journal together after sex, separately when you’re alone, or read it together when you’re ready. Sometimes it might be better to read alone and process what your partner has said. Essentially, it’s a way to open up communication lines even further.