When you think of an old soul, you’re probably picturing a young person smoking a cigar on a rocking chair on the porch. Yet, what makes an old soul goes so much deeper than that. It’s a set of values, preferences, beliefs, and a lifestyle that makes it hard for some people to feel like they fit in with modern dating rules.
They Know Exactly Who They Are
Old souls tend to have a strong sense of identity. Since they already know what they’re willing to put up with, what they look for, and what they simply don’t have the energy for, they’re not willing to settle.
This limits the number of potential suitors.
They’re Not About The Casual Dating Scene
Old souls don’t want to swipe through Tinder just to go on endless first dates, text multiple people at once (without texting too soon or too much) until one sticks.
When they date, they’re in it for the long term, and they prefer to skip over the games. This makes them sometimes come on too strong for someone used to the Tinder to-and-fro.
They’re Not Looking To “Fix” Anyone
They may be healers, but they’ve already done the work on themselves to grow and be wiser, and they expect their partner to do the same.
They’re not looking to be someone’s counselor, they’re looking for someone who’s in a similar place to complement the life they’ve already built.
They Crave The Presence Of A Meaningful Partner
They’re not looking for a partner just for the sake of having one, they want someone to build and share a life with. That means someone who shares their values, not just someone they’re superficially attracted to.
They Have High Expectations
They don’t expect perfect partners, but they do have a set of high expectations that could be hard to meet, and might even be considered old-fashioned.
They expect their partners to follow through on their word and go out of their way from time to time like in the old days.
They Can’t Help The Overthinking
Old souls are very in tune with their feelings and emotions, but this doesn’t give them the ability to read other people’s minds.
They badly want to understand what their partner is thinking so they can determine if it’s worth their time.
They Look At Love As A Constant Work In Progress
Just because they’re in a relationship, that doesn’t mean their work is done. They have no issue with confrontation and will make any issues they see known to their partner.
Their intention isn’t to critique or start arguments but to work through those issues to have the best kind of relationship possible.
Their Personality Can Be Intense
Old souls have big personalities that can sometimes be overwhelming. They’re simply misunderstood. They love to reflect, look for truth, help others, and share wisdom.
They have multiple layers and a complex personality. In our fast-paced, often surface-level interactions, not everyone is open to receiving that.
They Struggle To Rely On Technology
Much of modern dating relies on social media posts, dating apps, and bonds formed over texts and FaceTime calls. Old souls don’t give much importance to their phones, and may even take days to respond.
This isn’t a reflection of their lack of purpose but rather of their preference to build relationships face to face, through body language and physical presence.
They Carry A Lot Of Baggage
Old souls have learned a lot from life, often from their own experiences. They spent time working through choices and experiences to challenge themselves and learn from them.
However, their experiences and history can create a new set of unresolved issues in a relationship.
Their Intuition Can Either Be Their Superpower Or Their Demise
Old souls have experienced enough to be able to trust the little voice in their head. Although their intuition isn’t usually wrong, it can still lead them astray.
If they have a feeling, it becomes overwhelming and they can’t shake it. This might come off as nagging or mistrust by their partner.
Love Is Not Be-All And End-All Of Their Lives
Old souls often feel called to a higher purpose that they might feel a need to give priority to before love.
They have their goals that they feel passionate about and want to achieve without being held back by a relationship.
Some of their favorite activities include snuggling up on the couch with a good book and ordering dinner in.
This doesn’t give them a lot of opportunities to meet new people or put themselves out there. This, however, is how they feel most at peace.
They Expect Vulnerability
It’s not enough for them to be compatible and share similar interests, old souls want a partner who is willing to pour out their heart and soul.
They make themselves vulnerable for their partner and expect the same in return. To them, vulnerability shows courage and unconditional love.
Their Fear Feels Just As Intense As Their Love
The degree to which they love something is proportionate to how much they fear losing it. They might act out according to these fears before anything has even happened and sabotage themselves.
Despite being confident, they might require extra validation.
They Rely On Actions Not Words
Words feel empty when they aren’t followed by actions. They’re not convinced by a simple “I love you” and empty promises.
They equate real love with shared experiences, effort, and dedication that is consistent and proven over time.
They Look For Someone Who Is Already Happy
We want a partner who is happy and whole by themselves so that we can share that wholeness with them. When people enter a relationship out of a sense of “neediness” because they feel incomplete or fear being lonely, the relationship is doomed. As old souls, we realize that healthy relationships are rooted in inner happiness.
They Want To Be Romanced
Whatever happened to being surprised with flowers and being spoiled just because? Romance is now often considered to be “cheesy” and outdated.
That doesn’t stop old souls from craving it and even expecting it. To them, it shows that their partner is paying attention and keeps the flame burning.
They’re Free-Spirited Creatures
Old souls find that the beauty of falling in love is the loss of control to it. Within that state, they find the freedom that creates a transcendent experience.
However, that can also backfire because some often feel stuck and limited by a relationship when they would rather be a free bird.
“Opposites Don’t Attract, Equals Do” —Mansi Agarwal
Being an old soul shouldn’t be a limitation but an opportunity. An old soul is someone who won’t settle, and that shouldn’t be a bad thing.
Even if it’s a slower process, it means that when they do finally find someone, it’ll be based on healthy characteristics that will ensure a fulfilling and lasting relationship