How To Trick Them Into Falling In Love With You
We're not condoning mind games, but who doesn't need a little extra help in the love department? Love usually makes no sense by logic. It's complicated and confusing. Still, there are a few tricks that our brains just can't help but respond to.
The following little psychological tricks might give your crush the push they need to let themselves fall for you. Use them wisely!
How Does This Work?
We all have some sort of checklist in our minds already of what we're looking for in a potential partner. This criteria list is often referred to as a "love map."
It's like the brain disqualifies suitors once they don't match the map. To trick someone into falling in love with you, you need to fit on their map on a subconscious level.
Maintain Long Eye Contact
If we talk in terms of numbers, they say that people look at each other 30-60% of the time. This number is even higher for couples, who look at each other 75% of the time.
Knowing this, you can trick someone's brain by showing your attraction and looking at them 75% of the time. Their brain associates that with being in love.
Using "I" Instead Of "You"
"Try to use 'I' statements rather than 'you” statements. People generally feel on the offensive when you put something on them, especially when there's an issue."
"Putting the blame on them makes them feel like you’re accusing them. Instead of saying, 'Let me know if you need help with anything else,' I usually say, 'Let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help.'” —shiguywhy / Reddit
Fill The Void They're Missing
Most people have something that they're missing in their lives. Find out what it is and fill it. For example, if they lack self-confidence or ambition, show them how oriented and grounded you are.
They'll subconsciously feel the desire to chase you to surround themselves with the kind of qualities they wish they had.
Find A Way To Be Around Them Often
Studies tend to show that the more you interact positively with someone, the more they'll like you.
The repeated exposure, especially after our initial interaction with it was positive, makes us like it more. Think of the first time you tried chocolate and now can never go back.
Make Them Feel Like The Only Person In The Room
Make them feel special by focusing on them even when others join the conversation. They call this technique "toffee eyes."
You lock eyes with someone and keep them there for at least three or four seconds. Then you slowly turn your eyes away, but reluctantly, as if you're attached to warm toffee.
The 1, 2, 3 Technique
Think of this as three levels of speed. On speed one, you shower them with attention to get them to go out with you. On speed two, after you go on a date, you still give them attention but not as intensely.
Then on speed three, when you haven't seen them in a couple of days, you distract yourself with other activities to give them even less attention. This will trick them into thinking that they'll get the most attention around the days you see each other.
But Know When To Make Yourself Unavailable
It's a fine line between showing interest and coming off too strong. When you really believe that you won him over, try being a little less available.
This keeps your value high. They call this the "law of scarcity," which basically says that we want what we can't have. That way when we finally get it we feel like we "earned" it and protect it.
Go On Dates Filled With Adrenaline
Ever wonder why they go on such extravagant dates on "The Bachelor"? It's not just because it makes you seem fun.
Adventurous dates make your heart race and boost adrenaline and happy chemicals like dopamine into your brain. Their brain then associates the feelings from a date with you and they start to crave more of it, and of you!
A Smile Goes The Mile
They say that smiling is contagious. If you smile at your crush, they're unlikely to be able to hold themselves from smiling back.
"I always smile when I see and approach or get approached by anyone so they immediately think I'm happy to see them. It helps conversations start better too! " —FriedPickIes / Reddit
Call Up Your Mutual Friends
We're social beings by nature. We can't help but agree with and trust those who are close to us. You can use this to your advantage if you can get your mutual friends to put a good word in for you.
This is a bit like brainwashing them into agreeing with their friends on what a catch you are.
Mirror Them Back
Watch their body language, their tone, their words, and even their facial expressions and try that match it. For example, move your body so that you're facing them.
People tend to feel most comfortable with someone who mirrors them. It makes them feel bonded and like they can trust you.
Get Them To Do Favors For You
People like to feel important and needed. It makes them feel good to know they did something to help.
Make them happy by asking them for small favors. They'll like the feeling of being your knight in shining armor. Plus you'll get something done for yourself. It's a win-win.
Play With The Pupils
According to pupillometrics, the science of pupil study, our pupils grow in size when we look at something (or someone) we like.
The cool part is you can change pupil size by doing things like reducing light. A candlelight dinner seems more romantic because the softer light makes our faces appear more attractive, and enlarges our pupils too.
Keep A Little Mystery
We can't help but be intrigued by what we don't fully understand. It keeps us coming back to found out more until we can figure it all out.
Don't share every small and private detail of your life right away. Keep peeling the layers slowly so they feel like they're doing the work to get to know you better.
Invite Them Over
They say that you play better at home than away. When you're at home you're automatically more confident. You shine because you feel in control and relaxed so you're better at showing off and impressing your date.
So what are you waiting for? Ask to cook them dinner at your home and put these tricks to work!
Get Into A Better Mindset
Your own mindset is really important to how you're going to approach relationships and the kind of signals you send out to potential romantic interests. If your mindset is in the wrong place, you will end up with the wrong types of men in your life.
For example, if you believe that you're cursed when it comes to relationships or that you only attract jerks, it almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hang Out In Places You Feel Very Comfortable
If you want to meet someone who shares your interests, you need to stop going to places where you're not comfortable meeting people.
Sure, you might think that going out to busy clubs or bars is a great way to meet people, but if it's not your scene, you're not likely to meet someone who has the vibes you want. Instead go to places you like—cafés, the gym, bookstores, etc.
Be 100% Honest On Dating Apps
It's very tempting to try and hype yourself up with a few white lies on dating apps. I mean, if the whole reason for the apps is to get people to like you, of course you're going to try to make yourself likable.
However, while you might get more matches in the short term, you're going to end up attracting people you're not really compatible with.
Stop Agreeing To Situations You're Not Actually Happy With
You didn't particularly like the first date? Don't go on a second. He's only interested in something casual but you're looking for something more serious? Don't agree to see him on his terms in hopes that he'll change his mind.
You can't force something you're not happy with to become something you will generally like, so you need to stop allowing yourself to get into situations you don't really want.
Bring Up Your Non-Negotiables Early
Rather than spending a lot of time getting emotionally invested in someone only for him to have very different values or goals for life, just be upfront from the start.
Make a list of all of your non-negotiables that you want in a relationship (e.g. they want kids, they like to travel, etc.), and bring them up sooner rather than later when you start seeing someone new.
Be Confident In Who You Really Are
This is obviously easier said than done, but it's important to be completely assured of who you are as a person. Otherwise, it can be too easy to bend parts of yourself to match a romantic interest and end up unhappy down the road.
You are amazing and enough as you are, and you should be confident in that. Don't soften parts of yourself to make others more comfortable.
Show That You Have High Standards From The Get-Go
I understand the fear of coming across as rigid or stubborn from the start, but it's important to set a precedent for what behaviors you will and will not tolerate from the get-go.
If you try to seem relaxed and laid-back about certain things a new partner does that bother you at the beginning, they will think it's okay to treat you that way.
Know What You're Looking For
Are you looking to marry? Are you just looking for something less serious? What traits do you want in a partner?
If you don't know what you want when you go looking for a partner, you're more likely to find yourself in situations with men that you're not really interested in or that don't end up being fulfilling for you.
Act Towards Partners In The Way You Want Them To Act Towards You
It's the first rule that you learn in kindergarten, and it should still apply to your dating life. You don't want to date someone who plays games? Don't try to play games. You want a partner who communicates openly? You need to do it too.
Our own behavior is the best example we can put forward for how people believe they should treat us.
Stop Settling For Less Than You Want
I get it: after being on the dating scene for a long time, you can start to believe that you're being too picky or asking for too much. Of course, no one is perfect, but it's fair to say that you want certain standards from a partner.
If someone doesn't meet what you want and need, you can't settle for them. Know your own worth and know when to walk away from something subpar.
