How To Make A Good Impression On Your New Boyfriend’s Parents
Meeting the parents for the first time may seem like a daunting event, but it doesn't have to be. Whether the meeting goes well or poorly, remember that you're dating the son, not his parents. Of course, that doesn't mean that his parents, who in a way are an extension of him, don't matter.
To ease your nerves, we've compiled a list of dos and don'ts so you know what to expect and make a great first impression.
Let Them Do The Talking
The nerves might kick in and make you want to blab about your whole life story including that one time you puked in college, but we suggest keeping that to yourself for now.
Instead, let them guide the conversation and create rapport. They'll ask the right questions and maybe even do most of the talking so you don't have to.
Keep The PDA At Home
In their eyes, this is still their little boy. Even if he's now a full-grown adult who could kiss you if he wanted, it may make his parents uncomfortable and maybe even protective.
Instead, respect their boundaries, and their space.
Find Out The Deets
Don't just show up and hope for the best. Having a good idea of what the plan is, whether it's brunch at home or at a restaurant, will help ease your anxiety because you'll have a better idea of what to expect.
Plus, then you can ask questions ahead of time such as if his mom would rather you help in the kitchen or wait as a guest.
Bring Something With You
You don't have to buy anything fancy or cook a gourmet meal to bring, but bringing flowers or a bottle of wine will show them that you're thoughtful and will start the gathering off on a positive note.
This will help open them up and form a positive view of you from the get-go.
Dress Appropriately
Feel free to showcase your style and personality while still remaining respectful. Choosing an outfit on the conservative side isn't going to repress you, it'll just show your classy and polished side.
Plus, you want to make sure you dress for the occasion. You don't want to wear stilettos to a fishing trip.
First Impressions Make A Difference
"According to the science of nonverbal communication, your first impression is formed within a few seconds of meeting someone, even before you say your first word.
"A few tips to keep in mind are to keep your hands visible and out of pockets, greet them with a smile, and walk with confidence without slouching." —Khyati Gupta Babbar / Quora
Follow His Lead
It's safe to assume that given that your boyfriend has known his parents his entire life, he knows what kind of language his parents respond to best.
If he's in a family of jokesters, don't be afraid to crack your jokes, but if his family is more serious, try to show interest in their conversations.
Give No Matter To His Exes
Even if his mom makes comments about the last girl he brought home or how you're the first, refrain from asking about his exes. Whatever information he wants to share about his past should be up to you and him, and not his parents.
Plus, it could make you come off as jealous or insecure.
Ask About Their Traditions
Every family has their preferred way of setting the table and doing dinner. Instead of assuming, ask his parents.
They might take it as an opportunity to teach you more about themselves and your boyfriend's upbringing, plus they'll appreciate the effort and the way you respect them.
Plaster On A Smile
This may seem obvious, but it's almost so obvious that people forget about it in the midst of their nerves.
Any expert on body language can tell you that smiling is crucial to making a good impression. Plus, a lot of research shows that smiling is contagious—even when you smile at a stranger, they tend to smile back. Get his parents to mirror and feed off of your positive energy.
Keep The Conversation Light
As a general rule of thumb, the first time meeting the parents isn't exactly the best time to bring up politics or religion, no matter how passionate and knowledgeable you are about them.
You may hit on the wrong nerves and, based on the sensitivity of these topics, create irreparable damage in your relationship with the in-laws.
Ask About His Childhood
People love to talk about themselves, and parents love to brag about their kids. Your boyfriend may blush a little but he won't hate the praise either.
Plus it'll give you insight into who you're really getting involved with.
Talk About Your Passions
Don't feel like you shouldn't brag about yourself too. You want your boyfriend's parents to feel like their son is with someone who he can build a successful life with.
Plus, they say that people light up the most when they talk about their passions. You'll seem bubbly, motivated, and full of life.
Remind Them That You Love Their Son
Remember that this isn't a job interview, you already won by dating the man of your dreams. You don't have to pretend like you're meeting him for the first time.
We know we said to keep the PDA to a minimum, but feel free to talk about the good times you've had together or gently caress his arms. Show his parents that they can let go because he's loved by someone else too now.
Try To Actually Have Fun
Don't be trying so hard to do "all the right" things that you come off as rigid and robotic. The whole point of this meeting is to show you off. Your boyfriend has clearly already fallen for your goofy side, so if it comes out, it'll just help to highlight what it is about you that caught his attention.
Have fun and let it happen naturally.
The First Meeting Is Just One Chance
Even if this first meeting doesn't go exactly as you'd hoped, don't be too hard on yourself. Their opinion on you can change over time, and with time they'll get to know you better and you'll likely grow on them.
Also, some parents are hard on their kid's partners simply as a test or out of principle, but they'll break out of it once they trust you.
