You may think you’re just a genuine, passionate, giving lover, but in reality, you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak and disappointment. Being a hopeless romantic can be dangerous if you don’t balance it out.
From the unrealistic expectations you set to the assumptions you make, you might be ruining romance for yourself.
Bumping Into Your Soul Mate Naturally Is Now Rare
You’ve seen it countless times in movies and have been impatiently waiting your turn. Don’t count on finding your soul mate by accidentally bumping into each other at a coffee shop.
Unfortunately, people are usually too fixated on their tech or themselves to notice much around them. If you spy someone you’d like to get to know, you’re going to have to be the one to start a conversation.
Labels Don’t Make A Relationship
It used to be that you either were in a relationship or you weren’t. Now, there are a million other labels in between: you’re “seeing each other,” then you’re exclusive, etc.
Yet the real reason we’re so obsessed with defining the relationship is that we hopelessly want to make sense of what the other person is thinking and feeling. The irony is just because you’re “dating,” it doesn’t guarantee that it’ll all work out.
Drama Is Not A Sign Of Passion
You may think that the endless fights and highs that turn into lows are just expressions of how passionately you and your partner feel.
While it’s natural to have the occasional argument, there is a difference between healthy confrontations and toxic interactions that make you feel drained constantly.
Your Standards Shouldn’t Be Unshakeable
Modifying your standards and expectations for the people you meet doesn’t mean that you’re settling or giving up what you built.
Rather, it means that you’re open to getting to know people you wouldn’t normally let in. It’s the people who are outside “your type” that might pleasantly surprise you the most.
Not Everyone Is Looking For A Serious Relationship
You can’t be upset with someone for being honest with you about their intentions. It’s okay for a person to choose to not want a serious relationship until they’re ready.
Even if they meet you in the process, getting with you before they’re ready will only lead to relationship issues.
Not Everyone Sees Love The Same Way
The problem with hopeless romantics is they believe all people see life and love the same way. This is a limited way of understanding other people and leads to setting unattainable expectations.
Just keep in mind that love is just a rush of brain chemicals, not a fairy tale, so it’ll affect each person’s body and mind differently.
No One’s Entitled To Second Chances
Before you give a toxic ex another chance in the name of love, evaluate if they’re actually worth it. If you’re a hopeless romantic, you probably look at love through rose-colored glasses and forgive easily.
This can make it easy for people to take advantage of you and make false promises.
You Fall In Love With An Idea, Not A Person
You tend to fall hard and quickly. Often, you mistake the intensity of the excitement and the butterflies with newfound passion. Hold yourself back, because often this will lead you to fantasize about a life with a person you barely even know yet.
Then you fall deeper with the person you’ve built up in your mind before getting to know their real flaws.
Even Rom-Coms Are Full Of Red Flags
The reason you’re a hopeless romantic in the first place is founded on the countless movies, books, and Instagram posts that conditioned you.
However, if you really break it down, is someone stalking you to prove their affection even after you’ve told them no several times really that romantic?
A Relationship’s Not A Race To The Next Milestone
First comes love, then comes marriage…that’s what you once sang as a kid. As a grown-up, you should know that there are many other stages in between.
The more you rush and put pressure on yourself and your partner to reach the next step instead of enjoying the present moment, the higher you’re making the odds of never even getting there.
Love Isn’t Always Enough
Love doesn’t actually conquer all. It’s simply the foundation of a relationship, but what you build on it is what determines if what you have is enough.
This means you also need communication, trust, loyalty, etc. Without those, it doesn’t matter how much you love each other—you’ll continue to have issues.
Love Doesn’t Need To Be Proven With Grand Gestures
You don’t need someone to show up at your door in the middle of the night declaring their love to know that you’re loved. Love is in the little things.
The most romantic gesture is when someone goes out of their way to show you they’re thinking of you, helping you with a chore, learning your love language, etc.
You Often Give More Than You Take
You’re willing to make too many sacrifices to make a relationship work, even at your own expense. It takes two to tango, and if you just keep on giving without getting much back, you’ll end up empty.
Sometimes you just have to walk away. Fighting for the wrong person isn’t hopelessly romantic, it’s just hopeless.
You Need To Get Better At Compromising
Hopeless romantics can’t help but expect their relationships to be perfect. They expect perfect moments, perfect memories, and a perfect partner.
Since perfection doesn’t exist in human nature, they clash with their partner and put too much pressure on them. You need to meet your partner halfway.
“Happily Ever After” Doesn’t Exist
They never show you what happens after the guy and girl finally get together in the movies. No one is happy every single day forever. It’s okay to experience lows and even need to take breaks from a partner throughout a relationship.
It’s also okay to lose that initial fiery passion and transition into a more stable and comfortable partnership.
One Person Can’t Fulfill All Your Needs
You can’t put that pressure on a partner. You can express some of your needs to your partner, but you can’t expect them to meet them all. You need to make sure you’re properly taking care of yourself and fulfilling your own needs both in and outside the relationship.
This means taking some time alone and maintaining an independent life that can coexist with your partner’s.
Love Doesn’t Equate Happiness
Love isn’t a magical cure that will solve all your problems and show you the true meaning of happiness. There is so much more to life than just love, and love is just an added bonus.
If you don’t already feel happy, a relationship will only be a Band-Aid that will surely have to come off at some point.
Losing Love Isn’t The End Of The World
Some people come in and out of your life for a reason. Often, a failed relationship is only meant to teach you, shape you, and prepare you for the next one.
Don’t take a breakup as proof that you’ll never deserve the love you’ve always wished for, but rather study it to see what you’re truly looking for and how you could make it work.
You Can Be A Little Much
It’s okay to admit that you can be a little overbearing sometimes. Not everyone constantly wants to be showered with affection.
The trick is to also adapt to a partner’s needs and respond in the way that they want to be loved.
Someone Would Be Lucky To Have You
Don’t get us wrong, being a hopeless romantic makes you a unique lover. It means that you’re willing to go to great lengths for those you care about. It also shows that no matter how grim life may seem, you never lose your ability to see the best in it and to continue to fight for it.
As long as you keep it balanced, you’ll find your Prince Charming eventually.