Examples Of ‘Toxic Femininity’ That We Don’t Talk About Enough
If you've been on the internet at all over the past couple of years, you've probably heard the term "toxic masculinity" referring to overtly masculine behaviors that are damaging to both men and women alike. However, toxic femininity and the traits associated with it don't tend to get as much attention.
Some Reddit users shared examples of toxic femininity they believed should get more attention.
Womanhood Isn't Conditional, Carol
Just like it's wrong to enforce ideals about slimness to women, it's also harmful to signify that "curves" or other physical features make a "real" woman. There isn't one correct way to have a body.
Stop Putting Women Down To Seem Better
We all know those women—sometimes, they're even our friends—who will throw you or any other woman under the bus, demean her appearance, or try to embarrass her around men in an attempt to look like the superior option. It's a really dumb, juvenile behavior.
Be Yourself—Don't Change For Affection
Here's the way I see it: if you have to make yourself seem smaller, less intelligent, or less capable in order for a man to like you, he definitely is not worth it.
It's Pretty Entitled
I can understand this mentality making sense back in the day when women weren't allowed to work or even own money, but it's presumptuous and entitled to expect a male partner to pay for everything. It's a treat, not something to be expected.
Can We Stop Blaming Other Women For Men's Mistakes?
If your man cheats on you, it's on him: you shouldn't take out your anger about the situation on the woman involved or a woman who is trying to do you a favor by informing you of his infidelity.
I Hate This Phrase With My Whole Heart
This phrase is entirely rooted in internalized misogyny, perpetuating the idea that women in general are unpleasant. I am constantly inspired to be more like other successful, kind, and brilliant women.
There's No Right Way To Have A Period
There are a variety of menstrual products available for a reason! Some products work better for certain women while others are more comfortable for different women. Every woman is unique, and we need to respect women's right to choose for themselves.
Let Women Act How They Want
It's even harmful comments like trying to convince a woman she needs to wear a dress for certain events. You don't need to dress or act in traditionally feminine ways, and we need to stop pressuring each other to conform to those ideals.
Don't Ask People About When They'll Have Kids
First of all, you never know if a woman desperately wants children but suffers from infertility or has experienced miscarriages. Secondly, having children isn't a requirement for being a woman—stop reducing women to their reproductive systems.
These Stereotypes Hurt All Women
There's no exact way to look like a specific sexuality, and using harmful stereotypes like this limits women's ability to express themselves freely—it can even make them feel uncomfortable in their bodies based on the assumptions made about their looks.
We Need To Hold Women Accountable
Beyond just situations like this, we also have to address the ways that women are punished less severely for violent crimes and are more likely to receive child custody simply because people incorrectly assume women are always weaker than men and more nurturing than them.
Cut It Out!
This is especially harmful when women mock a woman's appearance to discredit an accomplishment or other aspect of her life. This behavior reinforces the idea that a woman's appearance is attached to her value, which isn't true.
You Can't Have It Both Ways
Women in our society are given a lot more freedom to express our more "sensitive" emotions, like sadness, than men are. If we want society to improve as a whole, we have to help empower men to feel safe doing the same.
Please, Just Get A Therapist
I've heard so many women use this phrase, and while I believe there's something to be said for unconditional love, it's unfair for someone to dump their worst qualities on someone without attempting to improve themselves and expect someone else to manage their negative emotions/behaviors.
Respect Others' Boundaries!
Unfortunately, there's been a societal narrative that men always want sexual attention, but the reality is that sometimes women can take their advances too far and we need to check ourselves and each other when we cross the line into harassment.
Women Aren't Your Enemies!
It's okay to perceive women as competition when it comes to work, athletics, or other competitive arenas, but you shouldn't see them as competition simply because they are a woman.
Just Stop Commenting On Each Others' Bodies
Women often can't control the size of their chest, and we need to stop mocking women who may be less endowed or demonizing women who have traditionally sexualized features. We need to be more supportive of each other.
Motherhood Has Nothing To Do With Your Body
Some women can't have children in the "traditional" way, or their bodies might not be able to conform to typical childcare ideas, but that doesn't make them less womanly or motherly.
It's Not Cute
This includes getting your friend to drink following a breakup to help alleviate her emotional turmoil, or even in simple phrases like "I can't get through the day without a glass of wine!" These behaviors, in the long term, aren't healthy.
Include All Women
If you call yourself a feminist, you need to stand up for all women: trans women, working women, stay-at-home moms, Black, Indigenous and women of color, women who are traditionally feminine, and women who don't conform to feminine ideals.
