Bride Asks The Internet If She Should Cut Friend Off Because Of A Questionable Wedding Gift
We’ve all had a bad friend or two, and maybe we’ve had several. But most of us don’t have the luck that this bride does to get a terrifically bad friend whose behavior is so downright weird that it prompts her to ask the internet if she should cut ties on that friendship.
User “NoEggRackPls” took to Reddit to ask the masses if she was a jerk for even considering that this terrible wedding gift is the beginning of the end. Honestly, it’s a whirlwind of a story and it’ll leave you with more questions than answers about your friends and what could possibly be going through their heads.
A Friend Named “T”
This is a classic story of a couple of friends who start living their own independent lives and celebrating each other. It’s probably a relationship you have with a few people. Seems normal. Very normal. 10/10 normal.
She’s Apparently Been On A Liquid Diet
You probably also have a friend like this. They’ve got no real idea of what “self-care” is beyond a facemask at night and their 5-year plan involves half-baked schemes to go abroad and just “find themselves.” But you, like our bride, is a supportive friend who keeps her mouth shut through it all. Even the gross teeth thing.
And Engagement!! Plans!!
This is an incredibly sweet thing to do. They’re friends, she wants her in the wedding party, so please don’t be finding yourself in Japan under the cherry blossom trees during that time, please. Sounds reasonable, right?
An (Expected) Twist
Knowing the state of T’s life, I don’t think any of us are surprised she dropped out. But seriously? All she literally had to do was show up and breathe and that was it. This girl clearly doesn’t know how rare it is that a bride is willing and able to pay for all this stuff for the wedding party.
She Just Got Back
Okay, let’s unpack this. She just pulled out of the wedding party and got back into the country mere days before the wedding and thinks she may be sick. Sorry, I mean “sick.” Listen, this is the same way I let people down gently if I know very well that I’m not going to be in attendance for anything.
Oh Woah, We Never Would’ve Guessed
We would’ve never guessed that this would happen, not in a million years. Can you imagine she actually decided to not show up? This is a turn literally not a single person on the entire planet expected. Now, how much do you want to bet she never even came home from Japan? Just curious.
The Much-Hyped Gift
This is the gift. The much-fabled, much-hyped, definitely erase all her friendship sins and make everything better and forgiven in the end because she didn’t bother to attend the wedding as a guest or a party member because she was probably in Japan, gift. An egg rack. For a pressure cooker. Three weeks later. May we have a round of applause for this quality friend.
She Doesn’t Eat? Eggs?
You read that correctly. This mildly useful but incredible niche gift for both the egg-lover and the daily pressure cooker user is something this bride can’t use and doesn’t want. I literally have no words.
She Thinks It’s Time The Friendship Ran Its Course
This absolute saint of a human actually wrote her a thank-you card for pretty much an insult to their friendship. But she’s right, something like a card that actually shows how much she means to her would be way better than some ridiculous pressure cooker accessory.
How To Tell If You’ve Got Your Own Friendship That’s Pretty Much Over
If there are two things that NoEggRackPlz’s story shows us, it’s a) the reason behind her username, and b) that bad friends can make themselves apparent at any stage in life and can leave us feeling unloved and unappreciated in the friendship.
Here are the signs you’re dealing with a friendship that’s run its course just like the bride. Except hopefully, you won’t have to deal with the drama of cutting them off during what’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life. And you won’t get some random cooking gear as a parting gift.
They Never Make An Effort
They’re never there *cough* or come home from Japan in time for your wedding *cough* when you need them to be. They’re non-committal, always changing plans on you at the last minute, and you feel like you only exist to give them something while they give you nothing in return.
If your friend is just kind of going along with you and not really making an appearance during life events or is there for you only if it requires less than five minutes of driving, they’re not really your friend anymore.
You Kind Of Hate Yourself After Hanging Out With Them
Maybe it’s a side comment they casually made or maybe it’s a subtle way they really didn’t seem to listen to you when you were talking, but after you two hangout you go home and get down on yourself. Seriously, it’s not you, it’s just a sign your friendship is probably done.
Good friends support each other and offer each other advice that helps their friend thrive, not tear them down and make them feel worse. If they’re doing this they probably have their own insecurity issues, so just know that it’s got nothing to do with you and your behavior.
Are You Taking Your Frustrations Out On Other People?
Do you find yourself sitting on another friend’s couch furiously complaining about the stuff that your other friend did and said? If you’re spending more time complaining about them then you actually spent meeting up over coffee and hanging out, then you’ve got yourself in a friendship that’s met its potential end.
Don’t let your negative feelings about your one over friendship start to leak into and damage your relationships with other people. Besides, they probably don’t want to hear your complaining either.
They Were Good Then… But Now?
It’s a tough pill to swallow that your friend from middle school with the rotted tooth that you were so close with has just gone and disappeared from your wedding and bought you a pressure cooker accessory you can’t use, but you’ve got to accept it. Some friendships are better as memories.
If you find yourself only having a good time with your friend reminiscing about the past or only tolerate their behavior because you have “history,” that’s a sign the friendship was good then… but not, so much now. Just go ahead and remove them from the wedding party.
You Really Can’t Trust Them
Friendships are like relationships—they’re both built on trust and they don’t function properly without it. You trust that your friend is going to show up to brunch and you trust that they’re not talking all kinds of raw smack about you behind your back at a different brunch restaurant with someone else. If you can’t trust them then that friendship boat has sailed.
You need to be able to rely on someone who implicitly has your back and isn’t going to turn around and stab you in it. Otherwise, they’re going to do you dirty.
They’re Not A Burden Per Say… But They Kind Of Are
Listen, we all go through hard times. We all feel the need to call our dearest friend in our time of need at three in the morning after that Tinder guy we were seeing stood us up for a coffee date. But if your friend is leaning on you so much so you feel like you’re the only thing keeping them together, maybe it’s time to call it quits.
If you’re feeling like you have to hang out with them because you’re their emotional rock and they’re not making any steps to help themselves out, then maybe it’s time for a friendship reevaluation.
It’s A Habit
If you’ve got standing plans every Thursday evening and you know that you have to text them at least once a week or they hit you with the “are you mad at me” text, then you’ve got some thinking to do.
Friendships shouldn’t feel like another thing you’ve got to check off your daily list—they should make you feel happy, rewarded, and supported. If you’re just kind of going through the motions because it’s routine at this point then it might be high time you moved on to a more rewarding friendship.
They’re Acting Way Different
People change, but we all hope and pray that it’s for the better. But if your friend that you met and seriously bonded with over a mutual love of reality TV and pad thai all of a sudden starts changing and acting completely different in a way that makes you question what you even have in common, then that could be a sign of the end.
If they’re acting in a way that makes them feel unfamiliar, or in a way that’s honestly for the worse, both personality and emotionally, just call it quits. Don’t stress yourself out trying to befriend this new person you don’t really like.
It’s A One-Sided Friendship
You’re at their beck and call all the time for whatever reason. If they’re going through something, they’re making you take time out of your schedule to deal with it. Every conversation constantly revolves around them and their boy issues and it’s honestly getting a little wearisome playing therapist all the time.
If you’re feeling like you’re always stuck dealing with whatever issues arise in their life while they’re helping you out with literally none of yours, then that’s a one-sided relationship and it’s not healthy.
Your Secrets Are Public Domain
If you’re in a group and all of a sudden a person you barely know or talk to asks you how your great aunt’s recent knee surgery went and how your therapy is going, you can confidently say someone’s been talking about you behind your back.
A good friend doesn’t spread your secrets around for everyone to laugh and gawk over. When you tell them something in confidence… it’s in confidence. If they’re using it as conversation fodder for social gain then they’re not being a great friend.