Going through a breakup or getting over someone can be difficult no matter what else is going on in your life, but trying to get over someone while you’re stuck at home on lockdown? That’s like adding insult to injury.
You have all this free time and nothing to do with it but think about every life decision you’ve made that has led you to this point. Instead of wallowing in all your supposed mistakes or spending your evenings trying not to text your ex to ask where you went wrong, here are a few things to remember that might help.
Take The Time To Enjoy Being Single, And Avoid Dating Apps
Going onto a dating app right after a breakup can be a way of reminding yourself that there are other fish in the sea, and it can give you some validation that someone other than your ex is still interested in you. What they can also give you, though, is anxiety about being single. Swiping through apps and not finding anyone who you’re interested in can leave you feeling more hopeless than hopeful.
Enjoy being single for a little while, especially while in lockdown, where trying to organize a socially distant date could be far more complicated than it’s worth.
Try A New Hobby
If you’re looking for a distraction that doesn’t involve swiping right on a 24-year-old financial investor named Jake who will open with an overused pickup line, find yourself a new hobby!
In a normal world, you could rely on your friends to distract you after a breakup. They’d come over with takeout and wine to watch The Kissing Booth on Netflix for the umpteenth time or maybe even plan a girls’ trip for next weekend for wherever the cheapest flight South will take you. When you’re stuck at home with ample free time, though, you need to find a different way to distract yourself.
Start a blog, read some self-help books, take up needlepoint, finally learn to play a song on that guitar that’s sitting in the corner of your room. You don’t even need to be good at something for it to be a distraction.
Lean On Your Friends Or Family
There’s a good chance that living through a global pandemic has left you with some feelings of…unrest, but then to tack on your mixed emotions about that boy who ghosted you even though he told you he loved you a week before? That can be overwhelming.
What you don’t need to do is try to deal with all your feelings on your own. Your best friend wants to be there to support you. Your sister isn’t going to hate you because you called her for the second night in a row to say you’re sad or anxious. Your support system is meant to be there to support you when you need them to! That’s literally the whole point.
Don’t Set Yourself A Timeline
Telling yourself that you’re only allowed to have a certain amount of time to feel your feelings or that you need to be completely over him by a certain date is a surefire way to set yourself up to feel worse, not better.
As much as we would all like to be able to snap our fingers and immediately have our feelings towards someone who wronged us disappear, that’s not how this works. When you have nothing but time to sit at home every night thinking about what you did wrong or what you could have done differently, it’s all too easy to place blame.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s hard going through a breakup at any time, but especially with everything else already going on in the world. You don’t need to make it more difficult for yourself by not accepting your own feelings and your own pace.