In the world of online and blind first dates, you never know what you’re going to get. The standard is already low, yet somehow we keep going on dates that are not only disappointing but straight-up horror stories.
Life is short, and these people on Reddit weren’t about to waste their time on dates they knew would never lead to second ones. So they walked out, and here’s how they did it.
Saved By The Waitress
“Had a first date with a girl who insisted we go to a really expensive place, where she ordered a $25 dollar appetizer, $45 steak, and a $15 drink. She wouldn’t put down her phone, kept taking calls and answering texts.”
“The waitress had separate bills all made up and asked if I wanted to pay my share and leave her at the table. I said, ‘That would be wonderful!’ So I did.” —ELPwork / Reddit
Messed With The Wrong Gender
“I drove us. Started to parallel park and he said, ‘I’ll park this for you, women don’t do well at parallel parking.’ At dinner, he was dismissive only to the female wait staff.”
“I told him to wait while I got in the car and unlocked the doors…except I didn’t. I drove off and left him standing there.” —lechitahamandcheese / Reddit
Written In The Stars
“First date we are at a Japanese restaurant. She asked me my star sign, I replied ‘scorpio.’ She leaned over the table and slapped me clean and hard across the face.”
“Naturally, I was shocked and confused, I mouthed ‘What…?’ she firmly says ‘I NEVER date Scorpios.’ I went to the bathroom, came back—she had gone and paid for everything.” —TheBlackRoomba / Reddit
Upfront From The Get-Go
“Went to pick up my blind date. She opened the door and looked at me.’ Ew.’ I looked at her and said, ‘Yeah, I agree,’ and turned on my heel and left. Total date-time: Less than five minutes.” —Outlander56 / Reddit
It sounds like no time was wasted there. Better to get a sense of their manners from the beginning.
New Level Of Cat Lady
“She had 22 cats and would just randomly take in strays, not give them any vet care, and was planning on keeping a recent litter.”
“I love cats… I paid the bartender when she went to the bathroom and hyper walked to the door. Forwarded her contact info and a summary of what she told me to the humane society.” —FluffyProphet / Reddit
A Question That Should Never See The Light Of Day
“This guy and I were eating dinner after chatting for a couple of weeks, and unprompted (in the middle of something I was saying) and completely unrelated to what was being discussed he said something along the lines of…”
“‘So you know in order for this to work you’re gonna have to share yourself right? My friends and I like to pass girls around.'” —Kultaren / Reddit
Too Much, Too Soon
“I had to pick him up and he complained about everything. My car, the way I drove, my music taste, why was I being so quiet while carefully plotting my escape plan.”
“Definitely, the moment I bounced was when he said, ‘My friends really want to meet you. I need them to know you’re real.'” —guacnchip / Reddit
Age Is But A Number
“She wouldn’t stop making fun of me. She was 26 and I was 36 (though if it matters, we were at the same place in our careers/income) and she kept making ageist jokes about how I was old and decrepit.”
“Eventually, after telling her pretty directly to lay off, I just said, ‘you know, I’m not enjoying this, I’m going to go,’ and paid for the table and left.” —KnowledgeHistorical8 / Reddit
Revealing The Plan
“She told me she was probably going to ghost me and then asked me to buy her a second drink while I was only a couple sips into mine.” —eanstwatem / Reddit
As someone commented: “This has ‘villain reveals their plan to the hero before the plan has succeeded’ energy. At least he’ll be prepared rather than disappointed.
It’s Called Cheating
“I had a first date with a girl who told me, ‘Actually I’m engaged but I’m not 100% sure if he’s the right one. So I’m going to go out on a few dates to see if I change my mind.’ Check please!” —gold_and_diamond / Reddit
Could he not have made sure it was the right one before proposing instead?
No Cats Left Behind
“We were talking about our pets and I told her about my cat and she said if we were to continue dating I would have to get rid of him because she doesn’t like cats. For a moment I thought she was kidding because who would ask that of a first date (or any date).”
“It became clear she wasn’t kidding and was mad I wasn’t taking her suggestion seriously. I didn’t end up leaving, I was in the middle of my fettuccine alfredo and I wasn’t about to scoop it into some doggy bag like some caveman. She took an Uber.” —EndyBendy33 / Reddit
That’s One Way To Test His Loyalty
“I went to the bathroom but left my phone. She texted every girls’ name on my phone ‘I miss you.'” —RPO1728 / Reddit
We understand wanting to make sure there are no other women in his life, but there’s such thing as trust, communication, and privacy that are pretty essential to a relationship as well.
Hung Up On The Ex
“She kept talking about her ex, I asked if she wanted to get back with him, she said I don’t know and showed me a picture of him… couldn’t leave fast enough.” —i*hitmypants1s / Reddit
Although it does help to put yourself out there after a bad breakup, there’s literally no point in trying to drag someone along wishing they were somebody else.
That’s Just Gross
“Went to meet a guy for the first time at his house. There was a pile of toenail clippings on his coffee table. And it wasn’t one recent clipping. It was like, many clippings. Out the door I went.” —Amos_Moses83 / Reddit
You’d think they’d at least pretend they were clean and tidy to impress on a first date but nope.
Dodged A Bullet
“She finally let it slip that she had a boyfriend but defended herself saying it was totally fine because things had been going bad for a long time and she was going to break up with him.”
“My thoughts were that if she would do that to him she’d do it to me. No thanks.” —Powerctx / Reddit
Who Does He Think He Is
“When he asked me to change my clothes because they were not sexy enough and told me what I had to order for food…” —KiwiJaime / Reddit
We can appreciate some people’s ability to show their true colors without even trying. It saves us a lot of heartaches.