You keep swearing off the app, then somehow find yourself back on it in a moment of desperation. Then you start talking to someone you actually think is attractive and who isn’t boring you to death. Finally, you think that there might be hope after all.
Think again. These people thought the same, but they learned the hard way not to get their hopes up when it comes to online dating.
May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor
“A few years ago I was dating this girl and her father REALLY hated me. Her parents got divorced, we broke up a few months later. Fast-forward to around a year later. I start dating a girl from Tinder and she wants me to meet her family. She told me how excited her stepdad was to meet me… It turns out to be the same father of my ex-girlfriend…” —therealJayT / Reddit
Can we also acknowledge how fast the dad moved on to a whole other family?
Food Never Breaks Your Heart
“This girl hit me up around 10 p.m. and said she’d be in my neck of the woods and wanted to hang out. So she comes over, and she’s got a bag of Mexican food with her.
“She busts out a monster bean and cheese burrito and a carne asada quesadilla. She destroys like 2 lb of food in 10 minutes. She wipes her face off, gets up, and goes, ‘Well, I gotta go.’ Never to be seen again.” —StrungoutScott / Reddit
Lose A Relationship, Gain A Friendship
“Met a guy on Tinder. We ended up dating some months later. I was actually really happy with him and was going to take him home for Christmas.
“Then I got a Facebook message from a random girl. She basically said she matched with my BF on Tinder, found his Facebook account, and noted that he was in a relationship with me. She messaged me to see if we were in a relationship since they had plans for a date that week. Broke up with him. Got drinks with Tinder girl, we’re friends now.” —amilliphillips / Reddit
Found Out The Hard Way
“Got a Tinder notification on my phone…realized I don’t have Tinder and was holding my girlfriend’s phone.” —JazzFan419 / Reddit
Do we really believe he was “accidentally” going through his girlfriend’s phone though?
No Wonder He’s Single
“I went on a date with a guy and the entire time he was talking about how men are superior and how there have been scientific studies to show that ‘women have an emotional reaction to the color red when they see it.'” —ilovedawgs / Reddit
On the bright side, she got to see how toxic he was from the get-go before catching feelings.
The Danger Of One-Night Stands
“My buddy isn’t the smartest man. He picked a chick up and drove to a motel. They were walking into the room and she says, ‘I forgot my purse in the car. Do you mind if I go grab it?’ He says, ‘Yeah, that’s fine,’ and tosses her the keys. Five minutes later he walks outside wondering where she is and his car is gone.” —Reddit
At least he had her Tinder photos to show the cops.
Burritos Over Salads
“En route to the Worst Date Ever, this guy texted me from the burrito place we were meeting to tell me he’d already ordered me the salad. I repeat SALAD. At a burrito place. Anyway… After arriving—with my salad ready, beside his plate of tacos—he spent the next half an hour telling me about his model ex-girlfriend and how passionate their ‘breakup sex’ had been…last weekend.” —HarveyGonzales / Reddit
If there was a manual for what not to do on a first date, this would be in it.
It’s Like Being On The Bachelorette
“Buddy of mine hit it off with this girl and after a few days, she invited him over to a house party. He shows up and is introduced to a few of her friends, all guys. As the night carries on, more and more guys show up and very few girls are actually at the party.
“After they start talking about how they all know this girl they find out that she invited them all from Tinder. ” —AJTTOTD / Reddit
“On my first (and only) 30-second Tinder date, she walked out of the subway, looked at me, said, ‘Sorry, I don’t like you,’ and left. Real-life swipe left.” —TehSilencer / Reddit
At least she didn’t waste his time or lead him on.
The Parent Stamp Of Approval
“I have been on three Tinder dates, with three separate girls, and they have all been the same horror story. For some reason, the god of Tinder has decided for me that whenever I’m on a Tinder date with a girl, we will run into her parents at some point during the date. All three times.” —Shudilama / Reddit
At least it gets it out of the way.
The Clock Is Ticking
“The only Tinder date I went on, the woman told me her goal was to get pregnant in the next few months. I noped right out of there.” —rearwindows / Reddit
They say that once you reach a certain age, some women start to feel rushed by their hormones.
Quite The Messy Situation
“I started talking to this really sweet guy for about two weeks and things were going well. Then I started getting calls from this girl, who he claimed was his crazy roommate that was in love with him and kept trying to get him fired from jobs.
“Turns out, she wasn’t the one lying, she was actually his live-in girlfriend, and they had moved here together from a different state.” —RobertBorrelli / Reddit
Marriage Is Just A Title
“My Tinder guy was apparently engaged when we met and while we were ‘dating.’ Also found out two weeks after the fact that he’d gotten married. We had still been talking every day.” —sleepslate / Reddit
What’s the point of even getting married when he clearly wanted to be single?
Last-Minute Cold Feet
“So, I meet a guy and he’s just incredible. The only catch is that he doesn’t live in my city. After a couple of weeks of messaging and phone calls, we decide to meet up.
“The big day comes and I embark on the 2.5-hour train journey and I get all excited and I can’t wait to get off the train—and then he’s not at the platform when I get off. Try to call him to no avail, and after four hours of waiting, I decide to take the next train back home. Haven’t heard from him since.” —JulieStrike2991 / Reddit
Do It For The Blog
“We met last minute. We talked for a few hours, then another dude shows up… To meet her. From Tinder. She would later blog about the experience and describe me as ‘dull and unattractive.'” —kryptx / Reddit
It sounds like she was just looking for inspiration for a blog article.