15+ Ways To Tell If Your Boyfriend Is Spying On You

Being in a fully trusting relationship is not an easy feat for a lot of couples. Even if you’ve always been open and forthcoming with your boyfriend, sometimes insecurities from the past can bubble up and cause chaos in your current relationship.

There is a fine line between your boyfriend being protective and being downright controlling and invading your privacy. If you notice any of the signs on this list, it might be time to talk to your man about your boundaries.

Your Laptop Is Moved Or Out Of Place

Most couples have their own laptops for work or personal use.

Laptop in bed
Photo Credit: Sincerely Media / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Sincerely Media / Unsplash

If you start to notice that your laptop has been moved around or left out of the case when you’re not using it, it’s possible your boyfriend has been trying to snoop around.

He Straight-Up Asks You To Share Your Private Messages

It may seem casual or harmless, but if your boyfriend is asking to look through the messages on your phone, it’s because he assumes you have something to hide.

Two people sit at table with cell phones in hand
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels

Allowing him to invade your text or email conversations is a violation of privacy for both you and the person you were having a conversation with.

He Doesn’t Respond Well To You Suggesting He’s Being Too Invasive

Chances are the topic of private messages or social media interactions will come up more than once over the course of your relationship.

Couple in argument in kitchen
Photo Credit: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels
Photo Credit: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels

If your boyfriend has previously responded defensively or gotten upset when you asked him to respect your privacy, it’s likely he’s going to increase his suspicions and try even harder to “find” something.

He Constantly “Checks In” Or Needs You To Check In With Him

If your boyfriend knows that you’re at work, the gym, or visiting friends, there should be no reason for him to call just to “check in” while you’re doing those things.

Man on cell phone in office
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

It’s a major sign of a lack of trust when he nonchalantly calls or shows up to confirm that you’re actually doing what you said you would be.

He Calls At Weird Or Inopportune Times

If you’re getting calls in the middle of the night or at the crack of dawn just to “see what’s up,” there is a good chance he’s checking up on you.

Young businessman on cell phone
Photo Credit: Burst / Pexels
Photo Credit: Burst / Pexels

In the future, don’t answer one of the strangely timed calls to see how he reacts. If he gets angry and accuses you of lying about what you’re doing then he’s confirming his serious trust issues.

He Watches To See Your Phone Password

Facial recognition is great for everyone except snoopers. The phone passcode is sometimes all that stands between a boyfriend with insecurity issues and a huge fight.

Man looking over shoulder at woman's phone while they sit on couch
Photo Credit: Andres Ayrton / Pexels
Photo Credit: Andres Ayrton / Pexels

If he’s always watching to see you enter your phone password or staring at the screen while you’re scrolling, he needs a bit of a reality check.

He Asks You To Share Your Location At All Times

Of course “Share My Location” has its benefits, especially during large concerts or when you’re visiting a different town or city and want to easily find each other.

Man points at woman's phone screen
Photo Credit: Klaus Nielsen / Pexels
Photo Credit: Klaus Nielsen / Pexels

But if your boyfriend has the ability to track your location at all times, that is 100% an invasion of your privacy, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

He Manages To Bump Into You When You’re Out In Public

If your boyfriend somehow manages to “bump” into you while you’re out running errands or having drinks with the girls, there is a good chance it’s not a coincidence.

People in restaurant having drinks and talking at table
Photo Credit: Helena Lopes / Pexels
Photo Credit: Helena Lopes / Pexels

With so many track-my-phone apps and technology to share your location, it would be a good idea to make sure your boyfriend hasn’t taken the liberty of installing one on your phone.

He Does Any Kind Of Repeated “Work” Or Maintenance On Your Car

Magnetic trackers that stick to the underside of vehicles can be installed and uninstalled with ease by non-professionals.

Man woking under hood of vehicle
Photo Credit: Erik Mclean / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Erik Mclean / Unsplash

If your boyfriend is spending more time than usual under your vehicle, it’s time to get suspicious. Swing by a mechanic and ask them to have a look under the vehicle to see if anything is stuck there.

He Mentions Things From Your Instagram

It may not be as serious as creeping your private DMs, but even scrolling through your mentions, your feed, seeing who likes your photos, and scrolling through your followers/following is taking things too far.

Man scrolls through phone while woman looks over his shoulder
Photo Credit: Budgeron Bach / Pexels
Photo Credit: Budgeron Bach / Pexels

If he’s saying things like, “Why is so-and-so liking your pictures?” he’s definitely been social media snooping.

He’s Timing You

Say for instance you tell your boyfriend that you’ll be home from work at 4:30 p.m., if you show up at 4:45 or 5:00 p.m., how does he react?

Young man looking at watch
Photo Credit: Hidde van Esch / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Hidde van Esch / Unsplash

If he points out how late you are and makes a big deal (especially if it becomes a habit), there’s a good chance he’s timing you because he doesn’t trust you.

He Checks In With Your Friends Or Family

You forgot to charge your phone before work today. Not a huge deal, right? Or is it?

Man on the phone in high-rise with large windows
Photo Credit: Thirdman / Pexels
Photo Credit: Thirdman / Pexels

If your boyfriend can’t get ahold of you and he starts calling and texting your friends and family to check on your whereabouts, he has serious control issues. He may say he’s just worried about your safety but it can quickly become a recurring habit.

He Lurks Around When You’re On The Phone

If you’ve ever noticed your man hanging around a little longer when you answer the phone, or lurking in a room nearby while you take a call, he could be trying to listen in.

Woman on phone in home
Photo Credit: Liza Summer / Pexels
Photo Credit: Liza Summer / Pexels

Even if he’s not obviously trying to invade your privacy, he’s communicating that he doesn’t trust you to be honest about a simple phone call and may try to eavesdrop when he can.

Your Phone Feels Hot

No, seriously. It takes a lot of phone power to run tracking or “creeping” apps and if your boyfriend is using your phone data in any kind of way against you it could be running hotter.

Man looking out window from inside while holding his phone
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

Always check your apps and regularly change your phone password if you’re worried he might be trying to snoop. He’ll let you know if he realizes you changed your password and then you can have a conversation about it.

Burner Accounts Randomly Start Following You

If you’ve ever noticed a random account that sends you a pointed DM or watches all of your stories, it’s possible that your boyfriend has made a burner account to monitor your social media.

Instagram notifications and social media apps
Photo Credit: William Krause / Unsplash
Photo Credit: William Krause / Unsplash

If he’s worried you’re hiding things (like stories or posts) from him, he may try to “secretly” follow you to see. If the account has no pictures, followers, or engagement, there’s a good chance it’s fake.

Your Apps Are Left Open

Another good way to test whether your boyfriend has gone through your phone is to get in the habit of closing every app after you use it.

Apps open on iPhone
Photo Credit: David Grandmougin / Unsplash
Photo Credit: David Grandmougin / Unsplash

If you pick up your phone and all of your social media and messaging apps are open, he’s been going through your biz.