Being in a fully trusting relationship is not an easy feat for a lot of couples. Even if you’ve always been open and forthcoming with your boyfriend, sometimes insecurities from the past can bubble up and cause chaos in your current relationship.
There is a fine line between your boyfriend being protective and being downright controlling and invading your privacy. If you notice any of the signs on this list, it might be time to talk to your man about your boundaries.
Your Laptop Is Moved Or Out Of Place
Most couples have their own laptops for work or personal use.
If you start to notice that your laptop has been moved around or left out of the case when you’re not using it, it’s possible your boyfriend has been trying to snoop around.
He Straight-Up Asks You To Share Your Private Messages
It may seem casual or harmless, but if your boyfriend is asking to look through the messages on your phone, it’s because he assumes you have something to hide.
Allowing him to invade your text or email conversations is a violation of privacy for both you and the person you were having a conversation with.
He Doesn’t Respond Well To You Suggesting He’s Being Too Invasive
Chances are the topic of private messages or social media interactions will come up more than once over the course of your relationship.
If your boyfriend has previously responded defensively or gotten upset when you asked him to respect your privacy, it’s likely he’s going to increase his suspicions and try even harder to “find” something.
He Constantly “Checks In” Or Needs You To Check In With Him
If your boyfriend knows that you’re at work, the gym, or visiting friends, there should be no reason for him to call just to “check in” while you’re doing those things.
It’s a major sign of a lack of trust when he nonchalantly calls or shows up to confirm that you’re actually doing what you said you would be.
He Calls At Weird Or Inopportune Times
If you’re getting calls in the middle of the night or at the crack of dawn just to “see what’s up,” there is a good chance he’s checking up on you.
In the future, don’t answer one of the strangely timed calls to see how he reacts. If he gets angry and accuses you of lying about what you’re doing then he’s confirming his serious trust issues.
He Watches To See Your Phone Password
Facial recognition is great for everyone except snoopers. The phone passcode is sometimes all that stands between a boyfriend with insecurity issues and a huge fight.
If he’s always watching to see you enter your phone password or staring at the screen while you’re scrolling, he needs a bit of a reality check.
He Asks You To Share Your Location At All Times
Of course “Share My Location” has its benefits, especially during large concerts or when you’re visiting a different town or city and want to easily find each other.
But if your boyfriend has the ability to track your location at all times, that is 100% an invasion of your privacy, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
He Manages To Bump Into You When You’re Out In Public
If your boyfriend somehow manages to “bump” into you while you’re out running errands or having drinks with the girls, there is a good chance it’s not a coincidence.
With so many track-my-phone apps and technology to share your location, it would be a good idea to make sure your boyfriend hasn’t taken the liberty of installing one on your phone.
He Does Any Kind Of Repeated “Work” Or Maintenance On Your Car
Magnetic trackers that stick to the underside of vehicles can be installed and uninstalled with ease by non-professionals.
If your boyfriend is spending more time than usual under your vehicle, it’s time to get suspicious. Swing by a mechanic and ask them to have a look under the vehicle to see if anything is stuck there.
He Mentions Things From Your Instagram
It may not be as serious as creeping your private DMs, but even scrolling through your mentions, your feed, seeing who likes your photos, and scrolling through your followers/following is taking things too far.
If he’s saying things like, “Why is so-and-so liking your pictures?” he’s definitely been social media snooping.
He’s Timing You
Say for instance you tell your boyfriend that you’ll be home from work at 4:30 p.m., if you show up at 4:45 or 5:00 p.m., how does he react?
If he points out how late you are and makes a big deal (especially if it becomes a habit), there’s a good chance he’s timing you because he doesn’t trust you.
He Checks In With Your Friends Or Family
You forgot to charge your phone before work today. Not a huge deal, right? Or is it?
If your boyfriend can’t get ahold of you and he starts calling and texting your friends and family to check on your whereabouts, he has serious control issues. He may say he’s just worried about your safety but it can quickly become a recurring habit.
He Lurks Around When You’re On The Phone
If you’ve ever noticed your man hanging around a little longer when you answer the phone, or lurking in a room nearby while you take a call, he could be trying to listen in.
Even if he’s not obviously trying to invade your privacy, he’s communicating that he doesn’t trust you to be honest about a simple phone call and may try to eavesdrop when he can.
Your Phone Feels Hot
No, seriously. It takes a lot of phone power to run tracking or “creeping” apps and if your boyfriend is using your phone data in any kind of way against you it could be running hotter.
Always check your apps and regularly change your phone password if you’re worried he might be trying to snoop. He’ll let you know if he realizes you changed your password and then you can have a conversation about it.
Burner Accounts Randomly Start Following You
If you’ve ever noticed a random account that sends you a pointed DM or watches all of your stories, it’s possible that your boyfriend has made a burner account to monitor your social media.
If he’s worried you’re hiding things (like stories or posts) from him, he may try to “secretly” follow you to see. If the account has no pictures, followers, or engagement, there’s a good chance it’s fake.
Your Apps Are Left Open
Another good way to test whether your boyfriend has gone through your phone is to get in the habit of closing every app after you use it.
If you pick up your phone and all of your social media and messaging apps are open, he’s been going through your biz.