Telltale Signs He’s Just Not That Into You
As much as no one likes to be in this position, there is going to be a time in your life when you're into someone and the feelings aren't reciprocated.
You might be telling yourself that he's into you but not quite sure if the feelings are mutual or if you've created an entire scenario in your head about how he's madly in love and has been pining after you for years, but you have to face the facts. There are some clear signs that he's just not into you, and it's time to address them.
He Told You He's Not Looking For A Relationship
Yes, sometimes people say they're not looking for anyone before they meet "the one" and fall in love, but remember: that's the exception, not the rule. Chances are if he's telling you he's not looking for a relationship, he's not looking. Listen to what he's telling you.
It Seems Like He's Avoiding You
Has he been particularly hard to reach lately or overly busy with work, school, family, etc. but then you hear about him going out with his friends on the weekend? If it seems like he's avoiding you, it might be because he is.
They Don't Listen In The Moment
You can tell whether someone is engaged and paying attention to the story you're telling them. If they're constantly looking at their phone or getting distracted by other things, they're not listening and they don't think the story is that important.
He Doesn't Care About You Interacting With Other Men
No one wants to be with someone who is overly jealous or possessive, but you do want someone who cares about what you're doing. If you talk about other guys or he sees that you're talking to other people and he acts like he doesn't care, it might not be an act.
He's Not Interested In Your Life In General
More than just not listening when you talk to him or not remembering what you tell him, if he never asks about your life, he's sending you a sign. He doesn't ask about your mom because he doesn't really care.
He Doesn't Remember The Things You Tell Him
You spent an hour filling him in on the family drama that went down at your Thanksgiving, then later you brought up part of the story and it went completely over his head. If he doesn't care enough to remember what you tell him, you need to find someone new to talk to.
They Never Contact You First
If you look back in your text conversation, is it always you that sends the first text or you that starts the conversation? Sure, maybe he's just a bad texter, but why does the responsibility to start the conversation always fall on you?
He Doesn't Want To Put A Label On It
Maybe you've been hooking up for a little bit but he wants to "keep things casual" or maybe you're in what you'd normally call a full-on relationship yet he still won't put a label on it. That's likely because he's not sure what he wants you to be, if anything.
He Never Shows Up When You Invite Him To Things
Whether it's a party you and your roommates are hosting or your birthday dinner you've been planning for weeks, if the invite constantly goes unacknowledged and he doesn't make an appearance, it's because he didn't care to make the effort.
They Treat You Like Every Other Friend
I'm sorry to say it, but chances are if he treats you exactly like how he treats the rest of his friends, it's not because he's playing hard to get or trying to hide his feelings from you. It's because he sees you as a friend.
He Never Initiates Physical Contact
Think about it. Are you always the one that's going up to him for a hug? Does he always sit a sixth-grade dance appropriate amount of space away from you on the couch? There's a reason.
You Haven't Met Any Of His Friends
We're not saying he's ashamed of you, but if you haven't met any of his friends and he keeps you in some secret part of his life that no one knows about, it's because he's not sure if you're right for him.
And He Probably Hasn't Met Any Of Yours
You've been trying to get him to come to dinner with your friends for weeks and he's skillfully avoided every hangout. For the same reason that you haven't met his friends, he doesn't want to meet your friends until he's sure about you.
They Make No Effort To Be Around You
He doesn't make an effort to make plans with you, and even when you do end up at the same party, he spends the whole night with anyone but you.
He Doesn't Put Effort Into His Appearance Around You
Everyone has days where they don't feel like getting out of their sweats, but if he continuously dresses down whenever he sees you while you're in jeans and a nice top, that's a sign.
He Bails On Your Plans, A Lot
You finally manage to get ahold of him and he agrees to hang out or go out, but then a half-hour beforehand he bails... again. If he's not making you or your plans a priority, it's a sign that he's not overly interested in you.
They Don't Follow You On Social Media
It's the 21st century. The chances of you finding the one twenty-something who doesn't have social media is seriously slim. Sure, maybe they don't use their social media that much, but chances are they still have it, so if they don't follow you, they're not interested in keeping up with you.
He Asks You About Your Friends
Does he seem more interested in learning about your friends than about anything else in your life? That's a big old red flag for you. Someone who liked you wouldn't be asking about your friend that just broke up with her boyfriend.
He Asks You For Advice About Other Girls
Here's some tough news for you: he's not doing this because he's trying to make you jealous. Would you ever ask the guy you're into about advice on how to date other guys? No, you'd ask someone you consider to be a friend.
If You're Always Questioning It
The biggest sign that he's not into you is the fact that you even have to question it. If someone has legitimate feelings for you, they'll show it in a way that's clear to you.
