People Share Their Partner’s Annoying Habits And They’ll Make You Want To Stay Single Forever
Couples have to put up with a lot. Whether it's your partner chewing with their mouth open, not signaling before changing lanes, or letting a pile of hair build up in the shower and never throwing it out, when you're in a relationship you have to just grit your teeth and accept you're bound to a living, breathing pet peeve.
Does this sound like a nightmare dream-scape to you? Because it sounds like a nightmare dream-scape to me. So read these annoying weird things that partners do that people are just taking and relish in your single-ness. Because people are really out here in it for better...or for worse.
The Anti-Cabinet-Closer Needs To Be Arrested
Just imagine having to take care of someone so much to the point you have to make sure their family jewels aren't greeting strangers on the street. Oh, and your place looks like it's been robbed by a person frantically looking for a ladle.
You Can't Eat Yogurt Ever Again
Is he five? Is he doing this to give you grey hair? If I had to hear this every day for forty years as my spouse sat down to take a bite of his pro-biotic greek yogurt for gut health and digestion I would lose my mind.
If He Doesn't Change His Underwear Divorce Him?
I don't know what to say because I didn't know there were people out there that thought that this was a choice. It's not a choice. We're living in the 21st century where there are wonderful inventions like washing machines and the ability to own seven pairs of underwear that should've stopped this man from doing this. Where did we as a society go wrong to let this happen?
Solution To Loud Chewing? Go Deaf
What some people don't realize is that chewing isn't a group activity and that nobody wants to be let in on the experience through audio and visuals. Because we don't. Especially when they're eating mushroom casserole.
Not Replacing The Toilet Paper Really Isn't An Option When You're Single
So when you're single, you live alone, and you royally screw yourself over by not replacing the toilet paper, the only person you can blame is yourself. So you just don't do it. That's reason number one why I'm so incredibly grateful right now to be alone.
The Way She Squeezes Toothpaste Could Start A War
Can I fix an itsy bitsy, teenie weenie, minor lil' ting I see? When they say "I love her" they mean to say "I'm putting up with this incredibly annoying behavior that takes years off my life twice a day whenever I see it because divorce is expensive." Thanks, I'm a bit of a grammar freak.
This Would Get Old If You Drink More Than An Espresso Shot
Like, I'm sorry? Are you new here? Is this your first-ever moment drinking coffee? We don't need the commentary as it slides down your gullet and allows you to wake up and have the mental cognition to use both hands independently of the other without thinking about it. We know what that feels like, thanks.
Why Use The Garbage When You Can Send Your Spouse To An Early Grave
Do you know why she doesn't feel obligated to make this connection between trash and trashcan? It's because of enablers who throw out the garbage for her. The best part of being single is knowing that you're never responsible for enabling someone else's poor behavior. It's just the moral thing to do, so go ahead and pat yourself on the back.
Interrupting Toilet Time Is How You Drive A Man Insane
Okay, but why is she acting like every mom on the planet who comes into your room when you're a kid to talk to you when you have the door closed and then refuses to close it when she leaves? If this is a learned behavior we need to all un-learn it, please.
Arguing To Argue? Imagine? How Old? That Would Get?
I think we can all agree that after reading that we all want to go into a building with roof access, walk up to the roof, buy a button-up shirt that we can open and have it flap in the wind, and scream into the night, "THEN WHY DOES SHE ASK?"
Because Why Have A Conversation When You Could Listen To The Hairdryer?
Maybe this man has discovered the perfect way to not have conversations with this person while also simultaneously keeping up the reputation that he's willing to have conversations. My advice? Break his system by switching to towel drying.
Where Does He Think The Food Goes? Narnia?
I'm guessing that this guy's dream home includes a garbage disposal. Clearly he already knows how to use one. Unfortunately, all his practice and dream manifestation means a pretty high plumbing bill that probably could've paid for the installation already.
Walking. Their Partner's Walking Annoys This Person.
I like the humble brag slipped in about being a New Yorker (transplant). I bet this gets brought up all the time in their relationship when they have this argument and is their husband's biggest pet peeve about them. So this is why I'm single.
I'd Rather Starve Than Go Grocery Shopping With This Person
I'm sorry, does this person realize that part of grocery shopping is not pissing off your spouse so much that they murder you? Someone's got to pay at the register after all and nobody can do that if one person's in jail and the other is dead.
She Doesn't Dry Off After The Shower. I Repeat, She Doesn't—
Imagine finding the perfect girl for you and then you realize that she doesn't believe in using bath towels. I can't even imagine the number of burst blood vessels I'd have in my eyes if I had to step over indoor puddles to watch someone put on clothes while they were still wet.
Just Being Better Than Me Would Piss Me Off Too
Being so much better of a person than your spouse is honestly just rude and disrespectful. That's why I'm single, so I can always fail and succeed on my own. Mostly fail, let's be honest.
He's Got A Lot To Say Even When Chewing/Brushing (And We Wish He Didn't)
Sir, nothing is important enough that you can't wait five seconds and need to squash your spit and chewed-up food to the side of your mouth to tell us. Unless it's the end of the world—and it just may be for him if he doesn't quit it.
The Toaster Is In The Fridge In This House
This spouse is actually campaigning to make both this person's life and their own so much worse. They're taking the saying "through thick and thin" too literally and now, since their partner can't find the whisk, the batter for the cookies they were making is too thick.
Ashtrays Exist For A Reason
This is just downright disrespectful to the Earth. Annoy the living daylights out of your partner, I don't care, but treat the Earth like your personal trash can? That's just too far. I don't know if this would annoying me so much as send me into a quiet rage.
It Really Does Suck Respecting Another Person's Sleep Schedule
This person could do this crazy thing called "talking to their spouse" and sort this problem out instead of stewing and posting this on Reddit. Actually, most of the people on the list could. But does this happen? Of course not.
