Passive-Aggressive People Who Went Hard In The Petty Paint
Is your ex still using your Netflix account to watch BoJack Horseman at three in the morning? Do you wish you had the perfect passive-aggressive little dig at them but don't have the time or energy to start brainstorming ways to piss them off? Well, sit back and relax, because the internet has provided a step-by-step masterclass in being the pettiest player on the block.
Sure, these people are passive-aggressive in their actions, but they're aggressive-aggressive in the way that they're so deliciously winning over people who've wronged them. If you love a good subtle public conflict, come get your juice.
The Ol' Bait And Switch
This is exactly what you do if your man is a garbage person who cheats.
Just think about it — getting him a tattoo is the perfect way to teach him how to have a life-long commitment to something.
When Every Day Is "Did Not Get Engaged" Day
I can highly relate to this one since I should be posting this helpful life-update for all the relatives who keep asking every. single. day.
Feel you Lynda, maybe if you start posting this one alongside a "did not leave my boyfriend" update, he'll get the memo.
Thanks For Reminding Me I'm Still A Piece Of Garbage
Hahaha, too bad passive-aggressive little PUSH notifications aren't ever going to make us change our habits.
We will run our bodies into the ground and we will not be manipulated. Take that, you dumb app.
The Helpful Bridal Store Letting You Know Your Biological Clock Is Ticking
Today's reminder that your ovaries are shriveling up into tiny little dustbowls crying out for mercy comes from a bridal store.
It must be nice to be a bride in there knowing that her time has come, I think as I stand outside fogging up the window knowing full well I'll die alone.
Google Coming In Quick For Your Petty Needs
Thank you, Google, for your handy dandy quick response.
Fun fact: anytime anyone ever says "great idea" to you, just know that they'd rather shove bobby pins in their ears than ever listen to your pitch again. "Sure, I'll consider it" is even worse.
*Passive-Aggressively Sends HR An Email About This*
This photo is why you absolutely do not mix passive-aggressive people with normally aggressive people.
Sure, passive can be funny, but what's funnier is watching a frustrated person scrape ketchup off a piece of white printer paper into the garbage before recycling it.
So Nobody Asked For You Opinion And You Still Gave It? Coolcoolcoolcool
Don't you just love exes who have insulting, non-constructive comments that they say to whittle away at your self-confidence?
Isn't that just so sweet and cute? No? Too bad orthodontics can't help you fix a garbage personality.
The Ex That Dug Deep Into Toy Story To Shade Her
And that's a wrap on that relationship. When he digs deep into the nostalgic childhood movie archives to find the perfect picture to end things with you, you really know he's passive-aggressively done.
Watch out if he starts sending Monster's Inc. because those are really final blows.
The Roommate Who Did Clean Up After Herself, Technically
This girl is not only passive-aggressive, but she is also a fully-fledged demon from the underworld spawned here to mess with you and give your house ants.
This place needs a quick sage from this demonic energy and a chore-board.
They Said No Onion!!!
Spell it out and read the writing on the wall because this petty person said no. freaking. onions.
What a fun little art project to do instead of complaining, getting the correct order, and emotionally moving on to have a wonderful rest of your night.
Manager Didn't Schedule You For Your Breakup
This manager is passive-aggressive, but they do have a point. Don't let people break up with you over text by just never going on your phone.
Be right back because I'm going to the river to throw my phone in there the moment I get a boyfriend.
When Your Ex Is Reallllyyyy Dead To You
Not exactly the smartest thing to do if you're going to go ahead and mention her in your status, but hey, maybe she really was that dead to him.
Somebody exorcise his Facebook because it may be haunted by a bitter ghost.
Crop The Toxic People Out Of Your Grams
Pretty sure this is the reason why we all take so many selfies.
Sure, you love your best friend, but you know you're the type to bring up that thing she said at your aunt's poodle's fifth birthday party last year about your weight and you know it's going to end that friendship. Selfies just save you photoshopping time.
Smells Like Weak Shade In Here
"Ok cool," by Calvin Klein, the popular new fragrance based off of those sensual hit scents, "I'm Fine," "Sure, I Can Send That Again," and "Oh, Were You Listening?"
God, I hope someone gets me this for Christmas so I can pretend I don't hate it.
Because No Breakup Should Ever Be Grammatically Correct
You better not break up with someone over a dumb lengthy letter unless you're prepared to receive a full letter grade and a slew of corrections because of it.
Do you know what you can't spell check? An in-person breakup.
Ex Still Using Your Netflix? Wait Till The Appropriate Time To Change Your Password
Don't just up and change your password to kick off the leechers like a normal person; ascend to new passive-aggressive heights by waiting till the perfect moment to ruin their weekend like miss Petty Labelle.
All's fair in love, war, and paid streaming services.
Jim And His Jello Molds Could Never
If their flatmate never washed their dishes then this might be the only time this cutlery has seen water since its inception.
This makes this prank almost kind of nice so... maybe go back to the drawing board.
Cheers, You're Destroying My Life
Thanks a lot, Debbie. This is a classic freaking Deborah move to go ahead and have the audacity to sell an Xbox without consulting a complete stranger over the internet.
Deb, you'll burn for this one.
Thank You 2009 For Passive-Aggressive Ex On Myspace Moments
That's right, don't you dare call me when you're messed up.
If you do this, you can bet I will end things by tweeting a My Chemical Romance lyric in all caps and pinning it to my header.
The Husband Who Was So Mad He Only Made Half His Bed
He woke up angry, made the bed angry, and went to work angry just to prove a point.
His wife shouldn't mess with him or he'll retaliate in small meaningless ways that don't deal with the issue!!!
Lunch Box Love Notes
These are the kind of notes you dread at any age below 20 and want nothing more when you're above the age of 30.
Who wants to write me notes for my lunch today? NOBODY.
It Looks Like Tuna And Smells Like Tuna
Other than being grossed out because we know that this is Friskies instead of tuna, would you otherwise recognize it?
Let's hope not for the guy at work who's getting pranked for constantly eating someone else's lunch.
It's Tea Time
If you've ever wondered what the best way is to mess with a British person, we have found it.
Microwaving tea in front of them is basically the easiest way you could disrespect their beloved tea time customs.
Revenge Tastes Sweeter After Eight Years
Imagine waiting a whole 8 years from the moment your child is a toddler until they're done middle school so they could understand the weight of your revenge plan.
In all fairness, waking up once against their will versus them waking you up at ungodly hours for years is hardly revenge.
Patience Is A Virtue
This revenge obviously requires a lot of patience.
Even though she did not specify how many people were in line before her, most of us want nothing more than to get in and get out.
The Perfect Opportunity
This person carried chalk around in their car for 10 months JUST so they could do this once. Finally, the day came.
The funny part is someone actually parked their car fully perpendicularly to the spot and thought they did a fine job and walked away.
Employees Get The Best Revenge
Somehow someone thought it was a good idea to park in the lane dedicated to shopping carts, so the employees had fun with it.
They took the time to circle the car with the carts so it had no way out.
A Secret Donut Filling Recipe
Someone at this guy's work is known for eating everyone's treats. Enough is enough.
He decided to leave him a little surprise in the next treat he tries to steal by replacing the creamy sugary filling with mustard.
Cats Are Way Smarter Than They Look
"Locked my cat in the bathroom while I made a meal because he was being annoying. Revenge was had."
If that's not a story shared by every cat owner, I don't know what it is. You can see in their eyes that they know exactly what they've done wrong.
Newfound Happiness
This man had checks of himself and his new wife made just so he could send them to his ex. Some say "never been happier, I love my wife" to really rub it in.
His ex must have really left a mark...
Cut The Fake People Out Of Your Life
One of the little girls from the photo was looking through pictures when she was much older and realized that her mom, in a fit of rage, had literally cut their dad out of their family portrait.
I wonder if they're still together?
She Hit A Double Whammy With This One
This woman really killed two birds with one stone by being petty toward both her daughter and her ex-husband in one easy action.
It would be inspiring if it wasn't so mean.
No Peace For Either Of Us!
This man really thought that he could ruin his wife's evening and then go on and have a good night on his own.
It was a naïve thought at best.
When I'm Mad, Love Isn't Patient
This guy noticed that, when his girlfriend was mad at him, she had turned all the photos of them on the frame around.
Luckily, he knew things were good again when he found them back to normal.
Good Luck Finding The Leak!
This is so brilliantly evil.
I can just see him hunched over on the ground with his toolbox looking for the source of the non-existent leak and getting increasingly frustrated in the process.
He Doesn't Deserve Real Dirty Pictures
Do you know who deserves to get naughty pictures from their girlfriends? Men who do their housework in a timely manner without having to be reminded about it.
This man does not qualify.
I Mean, They Do Have To Divide The Assets
How are you going to try and leave a woman after she saved your life by giving you one of her internal organs?
Give her kidney back and see if you can really live without her.
This Is So Mean And Sad At The Same Time
I don't know what's worse: the fact that this wife thought that this was the best way to address her husband or the fact that he needed this made at all.
I don't know if this is for a diet or just an angry wife who's sick of cleaning up after him.
There Had To Have Been A Better Way
If his wife was having trouble tasting things, there are so many better ways that he could have tested her to make sure she was fine.
Adding way more sugar than normal is a great example.
Play With That, Timmy
I have this mental picture of this parent painstakingly dipping the action figure into egg and bread crumbs before tossing it in the pot and thinking, "Yes, this will teach my child a lesson."
Unfortunately, kids tend to put their toys in their mouths, so this probably wouldn't solve anything.
Strangers Joining Forces
Isn't it nice to see strangers coming together, uniting for one cause?
It really restores our faith in humanity, especially after the pain of seeing the car in the middle, who thought it was appropriate to park like that.
He Must Not Have Realized He'd Dropped Them
After weeks of watching their neighbor drop their cigarette butts on the ground, leaving them for dogs to eat and children to pick up, they decided to return them since the neighbor must not have realized he had dropped them.
This is a PSA for anyone who smokes.
Are You Happy Now?
Their roommate was constantly complaining that this person never did anything around the apartment or helped to clean.
So, they wanted to show their roommate just how much they did for them.
Making Big Moves
So now you've not only got an angry neighbor, but you've angered their flock of lawn flamingoes too, and you can't come back from that.
This person is playing chess not checkers.
He's A Real Piece Of Work
And by "he," we mean the ex-husband who installed that piece of artwork, not the actual statue.
A fairly bitter ex-husband decided to buy the house next door to his ex-wife and install this sculpture for her to look at out her window.
Let's Hope The Store Sells Scissors
If you're going to be a jerk and take up two parking spaces because you were in such a rush, you should expect that other people might also be feeling in the mood to cause a little chaos.
I don't even know what I would do if this happened to me.
Celebrating The Little Things
This is probably the pettiest thing we've heard of a group of people collectively doing, and we support it.
Maybe the city will finally get around to fixing that pothole by its third birthday.
The Importance Of An Inside Voice
This is why you're not supposed to discuss important business ventures in public where someone might hear you.
Especially if you're going to annoy everyone else around you in the process.
Don't Even Think About Enjoying It
He and his wife got into a big argument the night before, so she wanted to give him the important reminder that just because she made his lunch for him does not mean that the argument is over.
Hopefully, it still tastes good.
A Step Up From Toilet Paper
Their friends covered their car in toilet paper one night under the cover of darkness, so it was time for a little payback.
Looks like someone is going to be late for work tomorrow.
