Tweets That Might Make You Feel Better About Being So Painfully Socially Awkward

If you're walking through life mumbling the lyrics to every Nicki Minaj song trying to feel like a boss lady while overthinking every social interaction you have, then this one is for you. But like, in a noncommittal, no pressure, no worries kind of way.

Here are some tweets by, for, and about people who just can't like, do the whole human interaction thing. It's not therapy, but it's free, in the comfort of your own home, and you can repress as much as you want during this session. So really clamp down on that time you waved back at a person who wasn't waving at you and let's start healing. Or more likely just breathing slightly harder.

You Consistently Like Messages, But'll Never Post In The Group Chat

tweet about group chats
Photo Credit: @brainwwxrms / Twitter
Photo Credit: @brainwwxrms / Twitter

This is just good manners and a rule of thumb for having a socially awkward friend. Even though they'll never respond to your messages out of fear that what they're saying is all wrong, still send them stuff because they do still want to be in on the joke.

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If She Quit Right There I Would've Understood

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bank check but its life insruance
Photo Credit: @makvest / Twitter
Photo Credit: @makvest / Twitter
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To be fair, this lady was out of pocket for casually bringing up her deceased loved one in a conversation about an unspecified check. This is the kind of finishing move that destroys introverts and makes your credit union systems glitch.

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*Politely Refuses*

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places baby on the ground not enjoying it
Photo Credit: @mdob11 / Twitter
Photo Credit: @mdob11 / Twitter
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No, really, that's okay. I don't want to hold something that if I drop, which I have a high chance of doing, results in a potential law suit, lost friendship, and/or jail time. No thank you, I'll appreciate your baby from a distance.

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We've All Done Some Version Of This

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hold on for a second minute
Photo Credit: @OFLaCar/ Twitter
Photo Credit: @OFLaCar/ Twitter
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You know how words are hard? Yeah, that's exactly what happened here. It's a rendition of the classic moment you say "you too" after your server tells you to enjoy your meal. You're among friends here, you can share.

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Physical Intimacy Can Chill While This Pasta Boils Ok

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going back to bed and spaghetti
Photo Credit: @clay_png / Twitter
Photo Credit: @clay_png / Twitter
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Yeah, babe, learn to understand a socially awkward person's priorities. Do they make sense? No, because we're focussing on getting this marinara perfect so you'll love us forever. But once we take you to flavor town you'll understand.

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When Does This Turmoil End? Probably Never

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awkward phase still in it tweet
Photo Credit: @stephsstone / Twitter
Photo Credit: @stephsstone / Twitter
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Thank God this is on Twitter because I'm heading back to retweet the absolute living daylights out of this. We are born awkward, live awkward, and die awkward, so our moms need to stop asking us when we're going to stop putting on black eyeliner and listening to 21 Pilots okay?

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Light, Normal, Human Things To Say On First Date

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favorite tv show
Photo Credit: @Fred_Delicious / Twitter
Photo Credit: @Fred_Delicious / Twitter
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Perfect response. Commercials are on TV, they have actors and TV shows also have actors, and even though your date probably doesn't have cable, they probably remember those days. Definitely secured a second date with that quick human thinking.

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Flirting But Make It Weird And LOTR

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gollum voice flirting
Photo Credit: @keelyflaherty / Twitter
Photo Credit: @keelyflaherty / Twitter
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Guys can be out of touch, I'm not sure what to tell this person. Next time they should repeat it again but slightly slower, deeper, and play with a ring on their finger. That'll definitely make them get the joke.

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Totally Pickin' Up What She's Puttin' Down

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socially awkard misunderstanding therapist
Photo Credit: @PhilipMartinB / Twitter
Photo Credit: @PhilipMartinB / Twitter
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Uh, yeah dude, hit her with the "are you up" message at midnight and see what happens because she's clearly interested. If it goes badly you can always unpack it at your next session.

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Fear Of Public Speaking? You Must Mean My Amped Vibes

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interviwer asking about public speaking
Photo Credit: @Home_Halfway / Twitter
Photo Credit: @Home_Halfway / Twitter
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This is obviously someone who's a practiced public speaker and who's ready to lay down all the presentation facts while taking questions and not sweating through their suit while doing it. Decent. Wonder what that's like.

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The Classic Wave Intercepetion

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tweet about waving at the wrong person
Photo Credit: @nathan_CCMiller / Twitter
Photo Credit: @nathan_CCMiller / Twitter
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This is a classic memory in every socially awkward person's trauma folder that they dig out every once in a while just as they were feeling good about themselves. God, whoever saw you do that must think you're so out of it, good times.

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Going To The Same Place Twice < Moving Away

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debit car left at a bar cancelled card
Photo Credit: @brainwwxrms / Twitter
Photo Credit: @brainwwxrms / Twitter
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What else would you do in this situation? You couldn't actually go back there and ask or call to inquire because that would mean you're minorly inconveniencing an employee by making them take time out of their day to look for it. And that would be... no good.

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Who Needs A Normal Conversation Exit When You Have Footwork

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spinning away from conversations
Photo Credit: @anerdonfire2 / Twitter
Photo Credit: @anerdonfire2 / Twitter
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This is a good tip because there's no way this wouldn't work exactly like we expect it to. What we expect is that this person never gets talked to again by the other, and that's honestly a goal in my life at this point. I've never felt so excited to talk to a bank teller.

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What Else Are You Supposed To Do, Man

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ketchup bottle slapping
Photo Credit: @EyeSeeYou619 / Twitter
Photo Credit: @EyeSeeYou619 / Twitter
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I know it's better for the environment and whatever, but I'm willing to risk a couple of trees dying just so nobody has to go through this again. The sound of the hard slaps on that goop holder echoes in my mind at night.

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Sweat Is Just Lubricant For Danger

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nervous sweating is bravery moisture
Photo Credit: @truegritrumlbe / Twitter
Photo Credit: @truegritrumlbe / Twitter
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Bravery moisture happens so your body can swiftly slide out of danger the moment the situation turns. Which, thankfully, your socially awkward sweat brain knows is always and in every situation.

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Just Marinate In That Conversation For Six Months

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overthinking some stuff and then call tweet
Photo Credit: @1followernodad / Twitter
Photo Credit: @1followernodad / Twitter
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Bonus socially awkward points if this person also brings up that conversation randomly without preamble while the two of them are just chilling. Hahaha, anyway great to hear about your dog, that reminds me of when you said my apartment decor was "so me." What did you mean by that? Do you hate me?

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My Heart Won't Go On After This Work Blunder

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unplugging headphones work computer
Photo Credit: @keelyflaherty / Twitter
Photo Credit: @keelyflaherty / Twitter
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This is a worst-case scenario and a literal nightmare for everyone who works in an office or goes to school. Even though none of the stuff we're playing is inappropriate, we're basically living in constant fear that the podcast we're listening to about why rats might be controlling plane runway signals might get blasted.

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Third Grade Gym Class Is The Root Of Your Trauma

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toads tweet about tearing a muscle in gym
Photo Credit: @friendoftoads / Twitter
Photo Credit: @friendoftoads / Twitter
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This is no good and zero fun and exactly the perfect reason for all of us to avoid going to the gym now. Imagine how embarrassing it would be if this happened to you now? I'm petrified.

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Okay, So Funerals Aren't Prime Joke Testing Grounds? Noted

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awkward small talk fine meat grinder joke
Photo Credit: @CelebrityChez / Twitter
Photo Credit: @CelebrityChez / Twitter
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Hindsight has 20/20 but this long-gone relative is six feet under now so who's really got any say to be offended about this comment. Chez was just like, theorizing because they felt it was a safe space.

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Neil Armstrong On Jumping To Conclusions

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bunch of awkward leaps forward
Photo Credit: @abra / Twitter
Photo Credit: @abra / Twitter
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Always massive jumps to conclusions when you're socially awkward. Why understand things normally when you can just make wild assumptions and alienate everyone with them? Perfect.