Tweets About Being Attracted To Emotionally Unavailable People Because Why Are We Like This
The heart wants what it wants—that's why you've been following around that guy who only ever calls you when he needs a ride home from the bar. You may be questioning if you have "take advantage of my kindness" on your forehead. Don't worry, you're not alone because there's a whole team of us walking around ready to fall for these emotionally unavailable people to show the barest amount of interest.
These tweets are for you if you find yourself swiping right on people putting up huge emotionally unavailable red flags. It's not healthy, but hey, at least we're all suffering.
It's Fine Until Your Therapist Checks You
Your therapist is like your common sense except you can't ignore them for months and drown them out listening to Ariana Grande and pretending like everything is fine. It's not fine. And they're going to make you talk about it and other gross stuff.
Ok Maybe We Have A Type
Honestly, add in any toxic trait to that list and I will overlook it. If a guy is good-looking I'm willing to forgive a couple robbery charges on his record and a phone full of women he's texting. If he strings me along for six months, then even better.
*Applies Clown Makeup*
If an emotionally unavailable man who's 6 foot, has striking blue eyes, and only wears Oakley sunglasses hit you with his car, what's your reaction? If it's not "immediately fall in love" then you need to rethink your choices.
The Monologue On Loop As They Ignore Us
This is what these emotionally unavailable people look into the mirror and say to themselves ten times every morning before leaving the house and permanently shaking up our emotional core. Like, thank you. Thank you so much.
Tinder Preference: People Who Are Gonna Break Me
Also for any billionaire, professional skydiver to the stars, and cowboys that somehow still exist. Pretty much just any person who's never going to love me back I immediately start shopping for promise rings for.
Why Don't They Ever Act The Way We Planned
In my head, this person texts me back within 3 business days, drives me home when it's snowing out, and is down to once in a while split a medium pizza. I know, it's a pretty crazy narrative to fill.
Alexa, Play Truth Hurts And That Cee Lo Green Song
Chances are he also has bad taste so there you go. You don't need someone in your life who is this kind of uncultured trash—he'd probably take you to Taco Bell for a "nice dinner" out.
Artsy Narcissists=Emotionally Unavailable?
These musicians will break your heart, lead you on, and then tell you to follow them on Spotify. These boys are looking for fan girls for their garage band in their mom's basement, and they're not afraid to wear guy-liner, doc martens, and not showering for six days while calling you "babe" to do it.
It's A Loop, Baby
We have brains, but sometimes they don't work. I don't know what else to say. This is why I continually let myself ghost and be ghosted, so basically by this point, my whole life is haunted and I can't go anywhere in the city out of fear of running into an old flame.
Like How, And I Can't Stress This Enough, Do People Not Care
My emotions are outside blasting Peter Gabriel on a boombox standing outside of every hot waiter's window who asked me how I was when I sat down. Literally just blink at me and I'm yours, that's where I'm at at this point.
I Just Want To Ask My Brain Why
So thanks to Twitter I've pretty much determined that my brain is just game to see me suffer and that's totally cool. Yeah, like, we're fine, haha. Just let me go and re-download Tinder and reapply my clown makeup.
Dating Some Vape Fog Is Probably A Better Idea Tbh
Why did this tweet get me looking into dating a ghost or two? Like, that ghost that's been haunting the old hotel downtown. Sure, it's got some serious hangups and trauma to work through, but at least it's got a stable schedule and won't ignore me because it wants to possess my body.
No Better Feeling 😍
This game has to end. It's turning into one of those things where you have to plan six months in advance for the wind to change and someone to potentially drop you from their lives. Sorry, I can't do brunch in April, I'm waiting to hear back from someone who texts me back once a week.
Not Even Common Sense Can Keep Us Apart
Yeah but this moment also comes just as your brain tells you to go ahead because he could move back in town and realize you're the one for him. It's this fun little thing we call "being bad at making correct decisions."
Just Like, Let Us Change You
When we hear he's got "trouble connecting" we put on our gloves, tie back out hair, and get ready to play mother, therapist, dentist, and personal accountant because that's how badly we want into this man's life. Do you know if he's covered for an insurance agent?
Being Left On Read Is Our Achilles Heel
Why's it always the vans, though? Maybe there's something about cool hipster shoes with grippy soles that give men the courage to walk all over us. Which is fine except I need a break from these men who've never been to a skatepark.
*Immediately Checks Appearance*
It doesn't even matter what they look like, what their marital status is, or what kind of restraining orders they have on file; if they're breathing and a jerk, we want to text and see what happens.
Sometimes You're Looking At A Mirror
Sometimes you're attracted to people who remind you of yourself. So look at yourself long and hard in the mirror before ghosting that dude on Tinder who loves making small animals out of tortellini and hanging out in bingo halls when Mercury comes out of retrograde and ask yourself if this is justified. It is.
Hollywood, Did You Do This To Us?
This is also coincidentally the plot of every Hallmark Christmas movie. Hollywood has us convinced garbage humans just haven't found the right one yet, so that's why they left you at the grocery store after they promised you'd carpool because the game came one. That's acceptable behavior when you're searching.
Rise And Shine Everyone
This Halloween, dress up as the person who's destroying your life: you. Make sure you bring your clown nose, wig, and shoes because that's basically your everyday attire at this point.
