In a recent Reddit thread, people have been sharing the straight-up awful ways they’ve been dumped and it’s gotten very real. People can honestly be the worst. Buckle up and get ready to recall your own breakups because these stories just hit different.
Even though it sucks, coming together and sharing our stories is a great way to heal and bounce back. Spending the night crying in your room listening to Lizzo is sometimes the only way to regain your boss energy.
Grandpa Dead? Well Funny Coincidence, So’s This Relationship
Timing just isn’t some people’s thing. Same with empathy or basic human emotion. This person dodged a bullet because we’re like 70% sure this girl is a robot who waits to break up with you when you’re at your lowest.
Okay Frank Sinatra
The only time it’s fine to drop everything and head to the big apple is if you’re Frank Sinatra. That’s it. So unless this person is some kind of Canadian reincarnation they should just cool their jets because this is cold.
Didn’t You See My Status?
Well here we have an interpersonal queen with highly developed social skills. Don’t you know that? She did post it on her MySpace page so you should be in the loop.
This Calendar Enthusiast
Some things you should plan for — stuff like parties, career changes, and moving. But planning your breakup and telling your significant other? That’s way too much and a sign you should lay off your day planner.
Don’t Upload Your Breakup To The Cloud People
It all goes down on the Google Doc. We’ve all cursed out a bad group project team member for their lack of participation and we’ve all hit track changes to see the perp cutting up our handiwork. Apparently, people break up on there too.
The Moon Was Bright, The Air Was Crisp, And Vanessa Was Lookin’ Fine
Casanova over here wanted to go above and beyond and plan the most romantic… breakup. Honestly, this event planner should’ve saved his time and energy working on himself and his own priorities.
Abroad. Just Abroad.
You’ve heard of breaking up with people because they’re leaving town. Usually, it’s for more than a week… and they’re not locked in as your cat sitter. This girl gets nine lives of bad luck for this move.
FYI We’re Over, Okk Bye TTYL
We’ve all got people in our lives who are so obsessed with themselves they start every story with “so, I posted on Facebook…” It’s rare that we see someone who’s doing that during a breakup, but it’s a digital world baby.
The Black Eyed Peas Fan
So breakup music really speaks to our souls but we would never go around saying T-Swift’s “I knew you were trouble when you walked in” to every guy we hate. Well… most of us.
Throw A Surprise Party For Breaking Up
We’ve all been the plus one to a party with an undisclosed theme. You just show up, get told it’s Becky’s 23rd birthday, and you say happy birthday and that’s it. Most people aren’t savage enough to invite you to your own breakup party.
They… Don’t Have Chemistry Together Anymore
I’m sorry for this joke, but I’m sorrier for the guy who had to put up with this nonsense. Hopefully, this girl got the grade she deserved on the chem final. D’s get degrees girl.
If You Didn’t Buy Them A Gift Just Break Up
We’ve all got that one relative who’s the literal worst at buying presents — we’re talking socks, paper clips, and some stuff from their drawer they wrapped. That is if they bought anything at all. This clown is that relative.
He Took The Midnight Train
To weed out clowns like this guy, we should make a “relationship fitness test” in the Navy. If you’ve ever broken someone’s heart unfairly you should get 1000 burpees added to your daily workout routine. The breakup would probably still hurt more.
The Frugal Valentine’s Day Gift
Quick, when do we not break up with people? Birthdays, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day. Those are 3 out of 365 days, we’re confident you can make it work. We’re not confident about your self-control when it comes to not eating those breakup chocolates though.
Have Your People Contact My People
We can all agree that unless it’s needed, nobody should be relying on other people to do their breakup dirty work, right? Right. Now let’s agree again louder for Jenna in the back who’s not listening.
Apparently you not only have to worry about other guys down here but also the big guy upstairs. Hey girl, where were you this Sunday morning? Were you coming home from His house again?
This Timing Is Just Rude, I Can’t Even Make A Joke
This one isn’t even funny — this person just got kicked when they were down. It’s times like these we wished karma was real and had its full driver’s permit.
We All Felt This
Probably the worst part of dating nowadays is feeling like you’re never quite sure if you’re on an episode of The Bachelor or not. Did someone else get your rose? We feel this poster’s weariness with the dating game.
You’re My 3rd Favorite Boyfriend
So, this 15-year-old guy really dodged a bullet here. Unfortunately, it was in the most hurtful way possible. We’re not sure what was behind door #4, but it was probably another boyfriend.
The Kissing Cousins Because Apparently That Still Happens
We’re just going to not go out on a limb here and ask where these two are from… nope not going to do it. Not even thinking about it because this is a healing circle and there’s no judgment in the healing circle.