Here’s How To Build The Ultimate “Adult Sleepover” Survival Kit

Whether it's a one-night stand, a night with your FWB, or the first time you're staying the night at the house of a guy you're seeing, there are some things you just wish you would have. There's nothing like waking up in the morning (still tipsy, hungover, or sober) and trying to still seem like a beautiful human being.

Because let's be honest: the night before me is always a hottie, but the morning after me looks like she's been dragged through the depths of hell by Satan's himself. Over the years I have perfected the art of packing my purse so I can sneak to the bathroom and fix myself a bit before he wakes up.

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Shove One Of These In Your Purse So He Doesn't Wake Up To A Literal Clown

Neutrogena makeup remover wipes
Photo Credit: Amazon
Photo Credit: Amazon

Your smokey-eye and red lip might have looked fire AF last night, but this morning you look like the offspring of Booboo the Fool and a rabid raccoon.

These Neutrogena Makeup Remover Wipes come individually packaged so that they're easy to slip into a purse so you can wake up before him and do some damage control to your smeared eyeliner.

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An Elastic For Hair Emergencies

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Goody 50 pack of hair elastics
Photo Credit: Amazon
Photo Credit: Amazon
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You might wake up in the morning to a matted nest of greasy hair, and in that case a hair elastic is your best friend. Slam that mess into a cute little messy bun or a ponytail and stay looking cute as heck.

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Obviously, get hair elastics that match your hair texture, or these basic Goody ones that work with most hair types. You never know when you might want to get your hair out of the way...

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Keep It Minty Fresh

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Crush Brush Toothpaste Tablets
Photo Credit: Amazon
Photo Credit: Amazon
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No one likes to admit that they have horrible, smelly breath in the morning, but it is a reality we must face. Especially if you had a wild night, your mouth probably smells and tastes like the dumpster behind a 24-hour Denny's.

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However, Crush & Brush Toothpaste Tablets are transportable toothpaste that you just need to bite into, and it's easy to slip one into your purse. Voila! Suddenly a morning makeout session seems a little more appealing.

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Help Ensure Your Escape Plan

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Portable cylindrical charger
Photo Credit: Amazon
Photo Credit: Amazon
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Perhaps you don't want to see this fool again, or he's dead asleep next to you and you've got things to do today. I've been in the sticky situation where my phone has been dead, and I've had to snoop through his drawers for a phone charger (and then it's the wrong brand).

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No more! Pack this Lipstick-Sized Portable Charger (which also doubles as a flashlight if you're trying to make your break for it in the middle of the night) into your purse so you can revive your dead phone and call an Uber.

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A Little Touch Up Never Hurt Anyone

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mascara tube and mini concealer
Photo Credit: Amazon
Photo Credit: Amazon
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I'll be the first to admit that I am a walking, breathing catfish. I scam men through my makeup skills on a daily basis and hide the reality of my face and its imperfections on a daily basis.

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While I'm not saying that you should cake on a whole new face in the morning, a tiny bit can go a long way. I'm a firm believer in packing a little bit of concealer and mascara. You can put a mini-sized Benefit Rollerlash mascara and a small tube of concealer in your clutch and be set to keep pretending you wake up flawless like Beyoncé.

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And, Lastly, Keep It Safe

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trojan value pack find your pleasure
Photo Credit: Amazon
Photo Credit: Amazon
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Do you know what's fun? Exercising your sexual freedom and allowing yourself to explore in whatever way you please. Do you know what's not fun? Having an unplanned pregnancy and contracting an S.T.I. Make sure you're packing protection if you think that ~adult activites~ might be on the agenda.

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If you're embarrassed about buying in-store (and getting judged by Cathy at checkout), you can order a pack of Trojan's online. Get the value pack, because I know you're too broke to be blowing bands on singles, and stay safe out there!